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Question: Can you please critique my poem!? :)!?
Can you please critique this poem for me!?
Leave out the spelling errors, I'll get to that later- I'm mainly concerned with what you think about the over all poem and what I should/ shouldn't change!.!.
It's no louder than a whisper
I hear it like a scream
It seems to be a nightmare
Strangely pleasant like a dream!.!.!.
The world seems like it's ending
But time has just begun
While other people cower
Let us have some fun!
Down with white pickett fences
Destroy their plastic gods
Next will come the truth!
No more winks and nods!.!.
Be gone with mainstream whores
and governmental lies
it's time to take over
It's time for truth to rise!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
pretty!Www@QuestionHome@Com
It's raelly good, except in the 5th and 6th stanza's there arent enoguh sylables in the first two lines/too many in the second 2
Try something like
Do you hear the shatters!?
Do you see the cracks!?
In this flawed imperfect place
Knifes no longer stab our backs
try that for e next one too, it flows better, the way you have it written, it kinda of stutters!.
But you are really tallented (I have the same problem with uneven rhythm so I know how hard it is) you rhym raelly well, and other than those two stanzas it flows great!.
Keep it up!Www@QuestionHome@Com
The way you put the rymes made me actually smile!. I liked it much, When i started writing poems, haha people used to make fun of me!. And now i have made over 20,000 dollars in peoms!.!. Yours are good And i think that if you put your mind to it you will be great: ) write more they are good!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I definitely liked all your rhymes, they were really nice!. It's simple but complex at the same time!. The rhyming is simple but the poem is not!.
Well done!
If you don't mind, could someone please try to answer my question, I really need help!. X
http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!. Www@QuestionHome@Com
yeah it's pretty good!. im loving the 1st stanza!. I think it's a good way, a different way, of viewing our world today!. keep up the good work
do you mind!?
http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!.
thanks!Www@QuestionHome@Com
Not bad!. I especially like the first two stanzas!. But I would like to see more sensory details and see where the revolution is going, too!Www@QuestionHome@Com
im confused!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
its amazingg ! i thinkk it is perfecct the waay it is !.Www@QuestionHome@Com