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Question: May someone look over my poem!?
its not completely finished, im still working on it, but ive got a little bit of writers block and i want to know how much i need to work on it from now!.!.!.

you thought you always knew
the little girl that cries through you
you think you are all alone
in your world so lost and cold

caught in your void reality
watching the earth devour through its hate
you wish you could stop us
but you know that its too late

but don't you cry girl
no reason for that today
i can try to dry your tears
and free your heart from hate

let me catch you in your darkest hour
on my brightest day
we can let the world pass on
we will be better off that way


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
very good !. i enjoyed this !.!. great rythym!.!.is it the last verse you are still doing a little work on !.!. keep on writing !.!. you have a real talent
hugs lib x 'little girl' idea for title !.!. Www@QuestionHome@Com

poet composing a nice poetry like a fountain flowing from
hill or valley, its describing some grief and sorrow by a
girl and indicating a better day is coming to over come all
the pain where the love is available as much as comfort
for them, may here by showing any war free world like
peace will much for whole human in earth!. daekhcar go ahead its possible to breeding good poetry!. moni-huq!.dhaka!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

monihuqdua or whatever dude
YOU'RE EFFING CONFUSING!.!.!. are you using some sort of translator or whatever!?

anyway i hate poems so ya thats my 2 cents!.
suck it!.


Wow! you are doing great! It looks pretty good, and has a great structure! I suggest the title can be "Don't You Cry Girl"!.!. because this line repeats it self after each stanza!
good going!Www@QuestionHome@Com