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Do like my hate poem!?
well we had to make a poem about hate in english class with a partner
can you please tell me what you do and don't like about my poem!. What could i change to make it better!? also do you think i should use a different title than hate!? what should i use!? Thanks :D
The thing no one desires
It burns in the center of the soul for all eternity
Hate destroys the world, person by person
Hate is the devils romance
Hate is a contagious disease
It turns a persons' heart black
It eats away your time,
like gas eats away your money
White burning smoke arises from everyone
It turns roses black and rainbows disappears into the night
Hate dominates fate
The thing no on desires
It is a dark shadow that hovers over humans
Hate is a earthquake ready to explode into chaos
It's like Freddie Kruger slipping into your dreams
The power of hate overthrows usWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I think the name should be changed to "The Disease of Hate"
This is an awesome and will defiantly be showing it to my friend!Www@QuestionHome@Com
What you have here is a contemporary type poem in free form, which means no form at all other than your 4-line stanzas!. The gas and kruger lines with in future years be just words as one day no one will remember freddie kruger nor will they relate gas to high prices!. It would be better reading if you punctuated it, so that the reader knows where to pause for effect and how long!. Other than that, I think it is quite good for a start!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
It's very nice!.
The poem is very creative, ex, "Hate is the devils romance" but my only critique it goes from very creative to not creative at all in some lines!.
For example, "like gas eats away your money" and "It's like Freddie Kruger slipping into your dreams"!. Those two lines make the poem less poetic!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
It's not too great, I hope you're not looking into being a poet!.
But if it's for English class, sure, whatever!.
The only reason I don't like it is because it's corny, no offence!. But I'm very negative anyways!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
take out the 3rd sentence in the last paragraph!. Change the title to The Devil's Heart!. If u like my title dont forget to give credit to me!. Glad i cood help!.Www@QuestionHome@Com