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Question: Three some just composed please read and rate criticize if you may!?

Often it comes to my confused mind,
Where comfort and happiness I can find,
Am I the only one who is alone!?
Or loneliness is my only heavy stone,
What makes my heart so heavy, a weight!?
Can some one anyone apprise me to date!?

Why do I search for peace in crowded places!?
Why do I go to clubs and stages!?
Why can I not understand this simple thing!?
Can just any one tell me what happiness does bring!?
Some day I shall hope to find,
And know that in this world I am not alone,
Then I shall realise that in loneliness,
One can seek happiness and if ones' wise!.

I am not the bird flying aimlessly,
Nor an animal strolling away jovially,
I am myself a lonely but unique star,
A whole entity all by so many a standards
Aloneness is just a state of imagination,
Fellow citizens it is simply a fixation!.

''Hello Canada''


All around me I find deathly silence,
It at times is so killing and does me silence!.
Then suddenly I look around and become mad,
Where my dear where have you, it makes me sad!.

Often I ask where I should go in search,
As my loved one has left me in the lurch,
I suddenly wonder if I shall recover,
Before she comes and my solitariness discover!.
The when I think I've found my peace,
I realise none can my love fleece!.

Where, just let me know where love has gone,
And left me all alone this fine morn,
Tell me where I can go, look discover,
And find my dearest one recover!.

Have I really found my love, if so where,
Do I have to look for you in despair!?
Heaven knows my love I cannot live without you!.
Can someone tell me what is really love,
This is a common human inquiry,
Tell me love what makes you a living story!.


MY burning heart an igniting sole,
A piece of my burning soul,
A wandering soulless figure,
Seeking happiness, hither and thither,
Caught in the mangle called monument,
A deafening sound a silencing moment,
With helter and smelter here and there
Noise pollution and dirt everywhere,
How come I am still alive!?
Am I really alive or imagine my existence,
Well to live on I have to face all resistance!.

Yes I am still living!.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I won't go quite as far as lano, but I do suggest you make your posts one at a time unless they are very short and are tied together somehow!. I will read and comment on the first one: Sometimes writers and poets will use allusive or allegorical themes and language in order to make a point!. In your case, I think it is more nonsensical than allegorical!. Lines 6 & 14 do not work for me!. The syntax is all out-of-whack!. The rhythm is faulty through most of the poem, but it especially falters in lines 6,10,17 and 18!. In the last line "fellow citizens" seems really out of place!. My friend, it seems that you are more interested in "cranking them out" than you are in quality!. You probably out to write one-tenth as much and work ten times harder at what you write!. Your intentions are good, now work on the craft!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Your 'poetry' is amateurish in the extreme, if not downright awful!. You also have an irritating habit of posting reams of your verse on other people's questions, which is rude and annoying and which no one reads on principle!.

Post them one at a time at decent intervals on your OWN questions and people might give you the attention which you so desperately want, plus the aid you so obviously need as far as your work is concerned!. You're ALMOST as unpopular as ME, which is saying something!.Www@QuestionHome@Com