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Question: What is a good title for this poem!?
Who has ever felt death on a sunny day!?
Felt the warm sun on their lifeless chest
Dreamt of heaven as they were welcomed in hot arms of fire
Their fates clinging on thinned vines
Releasing their fingers gently even if
They might fall into a darkened, deep pit of blackness
Who dared to smile in their last seconds on earth!?
And thought of a perfect, wonderful world in their time of senseless despair
Who has ever fallen swiftly into the unclearness of fatality!?
And still made it look like they were
Resting in fields of happiness!?
*wats a good title alsos does anyone have any suggestions or comments!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
This is a really good idea and for the most part very well done, but there are two little things!. Pirate is correct that line 7 is a little awkward!. I would suggest, "Who dared to smile in their life's last moments (or seconds if you prefer)!. I would also drop "ever" from the first line!. And line 3 left me scratching my head; there you are saying that the person is descending into hell, although the rest of the poem doesn't seem to be going that way!. I guess that makes three things, huh!? As for the title, if you take my suggestion on the first line, that could be the title: "Who Has Felt Death On a Sunny Day!." I know it's a little out of vogue nowadays to use a first line as a title, but it is such a good line that I think it would work in this case!. Good poem!Www@QuestionHome@Com
here's somethign to fix maybe
*Who dared to smile during their last seconds on earth!?
fields of happiness
is a good title
i really enjoy this poem, keep it up!
check my own:
http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Consolatio Nostra
I love latin Titles!. By the way I like your poem, is very deep!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Who has ever felt!?
Or
Passing through the vailWww@QuestionHome@Com