Would you comment on a poem, looking forward to the weekend?

Question: Would you comment on a poem, looking forward to the weekend!?

Black Friday
by C!.S!. Scotkin

The sun
appears slowly,
reluctant to rise
avoids my eyes
covers himself
in gray
heaviness,
holding back tears!.

Will this day never end!?
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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

It's pouring rain where I am!.
http://www!.youtube!.com/watch!?v=eWzZaWu4S!.!.!.

Have an evening function to go to for Leukemia/Lymphoma!. The lady running it is a dear friend whose sister died last year of lymphoma & an old friend of mine passed away from leukemia on Wednesday!. It's going to be a long day for me!.!.!.!.but at least we're trying to do something to help and we will have friends to talk to!.
Nice poem, I think I need the weekend to be good!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Very good up until the last line!. Why not expand on the sun's personification: "Sun appears slowly, reluctantly, avoiding my eyes!./ He covers himself/in gray/heaviness,/ holding back his tears!." And end it there!. The last line is anticlimactic, and it is confusing because you have been talking about the beginning of the day and now you are suddenly talking about the end of it!. I love the imagery!. And you are to be commended because the personification of "Old Father Sun" has been done a lot, so you run the risk of cliche!. But you skillfully avoid that!. Good one!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Impeccable, pared to the bone, and yet conveying such a lot of emotion!.!.!.!.!.reluctant to rise/avoids my eyes!.!.!.!.!.I love it when I see two beautifully matched phrases such as these!.

Here the sun has got his hat on, and he's shouting 'Hip, hip hooray' consequently my heart is soaring like a lark on the wing!.

I'm off out into the garden any minute now!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Ebony is black,
night is too
Maybe a mind
or a thought
can be too!.
Only sunshine
will show truth
Even black Fridays
will have to yield!

Enjoy the weekend! Your sun is rising, on that I can guarantee, well maybe not metaphorically!
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The personification of the sun is perfect poetic expression--'holding back tears" is excellent!. If you are to personify an aspect of nature, it should probably be capitalized and used without the article!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Any day I wake up is a GREAT day for me!.Doesn't matter whether pouring rain, drizzling sleet,whip-lashing winds,winter storm!.At my age,you don't get picky!.You just learn to make the best of it!.By the way love the poem!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Sieze the day!!
Tomorrow you can sleep in!. No,wait, you work 9 days a week, don't you!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

It is Friday!.!.!.
The weekend awaits
A somewhat different pace
Use your minds pallete of colors to
change the black into greys lined with hope

Carpe diem
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As i reach to understand the mistery of his tears i wonder am i ever gonna be in his eyes!?
!.!.!.
Lovely poem!.!. very deep! thank u1!Www@QuestionHome@Com

I like this a lot!.!.!.however, in my world, Thursday is Friday, so today I'm feeling fine! Sorry!Www@QuestionHome@Com

I LIKE Fridays!. I also like Mondays!. Any day where you can be successful is a good day!.
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As all days do,
Sloooowwwwwwwwly
Qikly
Time is elastic

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Oy! Cheer up! It's Friday! Yahaay! Let's go!

Sun's shining here and even if it wasn't I would light one of my own!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

If you can see gray as melange you'll feel better!.

Very nice!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

yay!

I'm the first to answer!

why is it black friday!? i think that it is kinda short!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Very nice! One soft little rhyme, right in the middle!. Perfect!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Love it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I thought he was a she!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Aw, no grey day for you today!.!.!.come on, let's make it a day we hope will never end!
Hugs, maWww@QuestionHome@Com

She rises for us!.

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