My wife just came home with a look in her eye
Like if her looks could sure kill, I'll be dead where I lie
She said I've heard rumors about you last night
I really don't know, but her look just aint right
She says I am not stupid because I am blond
I am smart for my years, and probably beyond
Last night you came home and your clothes had a smell
I went drinking with friends, and spilled one oh well
It wasn't the drinking that is making her mad
She talked to a woman who she thinks I had
She said she was there but her memory has faded
You all did some shots and flirtations were traded
I laughed till I cried when I heard what she said
That got her quite mad with her face now turned red
You think I was there to have an affair
It all came about from a drunken friends dare
One guy offered fifty to see what she'd say
If he could just have her, and have his way
She said he is ugly and thinks he is queer
And said if he wants her, she need more then beer
So he bought the table pitchers and shots
After some maybes its now turned to nots
So I whispered to her, this guys really loaded
He has so much cash, and some of its molded
Then she said to me I'll give him a chance
If you'll get on the floor, for just one slow dance
So while we were upon that crowded dance floor
She was kissing my neck she wanted much more
She then suddenly asked if I like what I feel
I told her my friends said that they can't be real
She then turned to my friends and hollered this out
Just one dollar for feels, to disprove that doubt
Then all through that bar the men got in line
And each one said real, time after time
Well I guess I was tempted but nothing is free
After I lent all my last dollar, I had none left for me
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