Does these poems by HELLO CANAD'' Meet ur requirements dave and the new

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Question:

ADOLOSCENCE AND TEENAGERS

The adolescence of a young boy or girl,
Does their interior turmoil unfurl,
And when an adolescent stays in ones custody,
To protect them from all evils, is our duty!.

I know so many beautiful girls and boys,
Those with whom old guys play with,like toys,
And at times I wonder how their parents did trust,
When they their teenagers with relatives entrust!.

Teenagers need the comfort and confidence they lack,
That you will not take advantage of, behind parents'back,
But these days relatives are the ones one cannot,
Leave their innocent adoloscents with I say, dare not!.

In the lives of these nubile ones there is no dear,
And as adoloscence has just made it clear,
They want to know more and more and more,
How with their own and opposite sex, to endure!.

Believe you me you parents of this world of today,
Do your best to guard adoloscents from day to day!.
Do not believe that they will be able to fend,
For you will be the greatestloser towards the end!.

''HELLO CANADA''

NEW YORK

New York we all know as the worlds'centre,

Every one to the States through New York does enter,

With the calibre to control the world till yesterday,

You think New Yorkers will like to now give away,

Or still control all nations of this lost world,

Remember its New York alone, a lively enchanting word!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

Hey V, thanks for asking!. Re: the first one, I generally like most of your stuff; you are creative and just far enough off the wall to be interesting!. I have to say, this one does not live up to your usual standards!. In terms of content, I think it is an important topic and I applaud you for broaching it!. However, I must disagree with line 4!. I have brought up three children, two of whom are still in adolescent stages!. If you "protect them from all evils" you deprive them of the opportunity to grow strong!. A few other things: overall, the rhythm seems hurtfully lacking!. Check the grammar and syntax in line 6!. Lines 11 & 12 are a little prosy, in fact much of the poem tends that way!. Line 13 doesn't make much sense to me; what do you mean by "there is no dear!?" That seems a little forced to me!. finally, your lines 19 & 20 are definitely forced, unearned!. I know you like to post first drafts (you are braver than I) so I know that there is room for revision!. There is potential here!. Why don't you work on it a while and then re-post!. Take care!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

prdn!. been experiencing some technical problems!.
yes the new york acrostic ticksWww@QuestionHome@Com