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Question: Poem help!?!?!?10 points for best answer!?
what do you think of this poem!?
Bubbles tickle your nose
As the seaweed tangles your toes
Different than what you've always seen
Beautiful, Enchanting, and in between
Lets swim faster, deeper, farther
You feel like an oceanographer
Look above you and everything
And see the sun glistening
As if for miles you swim to the surface
Come above the water with grace
Take a deep breath
You are now in a different world
Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
great start, but I would change a line or two!. well, here's my version!. hope you like it!. if you do, its yours!. keep writing, its in you for sure!.

bubbles tickle your nose
as the seaweed tangles your toes'
so different than what you've ever seen
beautiful, enchanting and in-between!.
lets swim faster, deeper, farther, go!
through the blue like an oceanographer!.
look above towards the lighted rays
see the sun on the blue-green waves!.
as if for miles you swim towards light
breaking the surface with breathless grace,
a whole new world shimmers on your face!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Its a very good start!. You might want to think of another word besides "tangles" in the third line, it just sounds a little weird!. I would also replace "oceanographer" with sometime with a couple of less syllables just so the rhythm flows nicely!.

"Look about you and everything" this line seems a little disconnected from the next line!.

I like the last line, but I would change it to something a little more poetic like "And open you eyes to a different world"

Great work, you should keep writing poetry!Www@QuestionHome@Com