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Question: Walking - comments or suggestions please!?
X!.
(There but for the grace of God go I)
Everywhere I go I have to walk
or ride my bike!.
The state of Delaware has seen to that!.
I walk and walk,
and as I do I seem to notice things,
things that would have
escaped the notice of one driving by
in a hurry:
a flock of blackbirds lighting in a tree,
the fragrances:
a garden or a bakery!. I hear
children playing!.
And there are people walking as I walk;
I say hello
to most of them!. Some smile and speak to me
others walk by,
not perceiving, or perhaps not caring!.
Then there are times
I notice things that I would rather not:
beneath the old
stone railroad bridge there are the remains of
last night’s campfire
with old newspapers and liquor bottles
scattered about!.
And on the street the town drunk begs small change
and a crack-whore
makes her rounds; it is the hopeless stench
of poverty!.
As you drive quickly home from work tonight,
please notice us!.
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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
i love it! there are a few things i would change if it were me:
instead of the please notice us!. at the end you should get rid of the please!.
the verses that begin with 'and' aren't my favorite so you should fix those!.
other than that i thought it was very deep and sad and it really touched me!.
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WOW that is really deep and I really like it!. It makes me think of all of those people who are poor and it almost makes me want to cry!. It is horribly sad all of it isn't it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
i like it - all except the verses that begin with 'and'
nice natural flow, plenty of images!.
hope u write more!.
gd luckWww@QuestionHome@Com
ah a little sad i think if you made it more poetic instead of just lists it could be wonderfullWww@QuestionHome@Com
no >:(Www@QuestionHome@Com
nice, some of us cycle through it tooWww@QuestionHome@Com
grandest poet and singer u should advise and not ask 4 advice
ADOLOSCENCE AND TEENAGERS
The adolescence of a young boy or girl,
Does their interior turmoil unfurl,
And when an adolescent stays in ones custody,
To protect them from all evils, is our duty!.
I know so many beautiful girls and boys,
Those with whom old guys play with,like toys,
And at times I wonder how their parents did trust,
When they their teenagers with relatives entrust!.
Teenagers need the comfort and confidence they lack,
That you will not take advantage of, behind parents'back,
But these days relatives are the ones one cannot,
Leave their innocent adoloscents with I say, dare not!.
In the lives of these nubile ones there is no dear,
And as adoloscence has just made it clear,
They want to know more and more and more,
How with their own and opposite sex, to endure!.
Believe you me you parents of this world of today,
Do your best to guard adoloscents from day to day!.
Do not believe that they will be able to fend,
For you will be the greatestloser towards the end!.
''HELLO CANADA''
NEW YORK
New York we all know as the worlds'centre,
Every one to the States through New York does enter,
With the calibre to control the world till yesterday,
You think New Yorkers will like to now give away,
Or still control all nations of this lost world,
Remember its New York alone, a lively enchanting word
K kindly forgive I missed out a K, my minds' decay!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Yes its very nice - and he sees good things too, and the people he meets!. Reminds me of :
" What is life if full of care, we haven't time to stop and stare!?"
I've just Googled it and here is the real thing
Leisure
What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare!?
No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep and cows!.
No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass!.
No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night!.
No time to turn at Beauty's glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance!.
No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began!.
A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare!.
By Field Marshall A!.P!. Wavell Www@QuestionHome@Com