My attempt at humor. Does it work?

Question: My attempt at humor!. Does it work!?

"Unattainable"

She walks the streets,
dark, silky,
from regions untamed
by cold human hand!.

Wearing metallic silver,
she hides sweet, luscious skin,
sparks fire in my eyes
at her touch!.

I love her, when she is mine,
but the highest bidder calls,
she vanishes, to bring pleasure,
leaving me with only
a lingering taste!.

Why, why, I demand
of the gods,
can something so beautiful
not be mine alone!.

The answer rings,
devastatingly true,
they have made her
for all!.

Chocolate!.!.!.why!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

Eva, you are funny!. To know your style made this very funny!.
You had me going!. It's mine, mine, all mine!.!.!.love that chocolate!. However, I like my dark and rich!. Everyone else can have the milky stuff :)

what, y'all got something against dark chocolate!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

Omg!. I love you for this!. They will never get this one unless we were to drag out the whole story for this!. I was so confused at the beginning of this but omg, I LOVE IT!!! Yes, very humorous!. Mucho Love!. ^!.^ !.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Excellent, I 'll just pretend that the last line doesn't exist, and the poem 'd be superbly flavor(ish) to the last drop! funny, never mean to play with others feelings, until the punch line!.Chocolate is my weak point, to name one!. Well done! Www@QuestionHome@Com

its dark (chocolate) humor!. :)
i was guessing the whole time too!.
lol
but it was fun, and i really like
'wearing metallic silver'
and
'she vanishes, to bring pleasure,'
lines now!.!.

Www@QuestionHome@Com

Um, yes and no!.
It's funny that a streetwalker and chocolate have these things in common!.
It is weird that the speaker is feeling jealous about chocolate!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

This had me wondering to the last line!.

If I may be so bold, I think it reads better without the first stanza!. Somehow the metaphor of walking the streets doesn't fit with a bar of chocolate!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Well, funny or not, It deserves a "Snicker"
Your ending came as a smile of surprise, so I reread your words
to find where my thoughts fooled me, and I would have never guessed
chocolate!. kudosWww@QuestionHome@Com

Hehe, I love this! But who wouldn't love a poem about chocolate!?!? I tried to cut her out of my life for a little while, but she somehow kept ending up back in it!. Oh well, I guess I can't live without her after all :)Www@QuestionHome@Com

My background is green, which, as everyone knows, is funnier than blue!. I can tell you that this is not bad writing!. The twist makes it better than Hershey's!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

It's mildly amusing!. While you are reading it you get an idea you are talking about one thing then you have that last line there showing what the subject is!.!.!.totally not what I thought!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Yes its funny anyone who thinks its not is probably expecting some ridiculous three stooge's slapstick routine!.!.!.chocolate the harlot!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Sorry but this isn't funny at all!. No one bids for chocolate and it's just overall a bad piece of writing!. Please don't be offended!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

It is coming along!. It is funny in retrospect!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

This is darling, leaning toward funny!. I like it very much!.

All this laughing and having fun is hard, I know!. You will learn to like it!.!.!.heheheWww@QuestionHome@Com

Haha! Yes, Eva, it works!.!.!.especially considering your poems are usually very deep and somber!.
I must admit I hadn't a clue who "she" was until the last line!
Good one!Www@QuestionHome@Com

No,it is not funny!. But, you have good poem structure!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

She's so cheap
Bittersweet treat
Takes all takers
To dreamy places
She melts in my hand
I'm her 50 cent man

Www@QuestionHome@Com

For chocolate, funny indeed!. Nice build up to the last line!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

it's not funny, but it's goodWww@QuestionHome@Com