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Question: A short piece about leaving home, what do you think!?
Was feeling a little inspired by my current situation!.
Its not much, but I needed to vent, yet again!
As the delicate snow flakes cling to my raven hair, I turn back and admire the view of the past I have left behind!.
The amber glow of many homes gives me a warm feeling in my chest, but a cold tear in my eye!.
I never knew what a home was, I only knew what it was to be the observer, an outsider!.
Thier faces changing in the frames year by year, mine maturing without being displayed!.
I grew up in that town, I was a rebel, a lover, a heartbreaker!.
They say if you play with fire, you get burned!.
I never wanted to cause any harm, but theres only so many holes you can poke in a piece of fabric before it dissapears!.
And I did!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
You've got a tale to tell and you've got one very good line - the 5th one!. My opinion is that you should take this thing apart and rebuild it around that 5th line!. One suggestion: when you play with fire, you are more likely to burn a piece of fabric than poke holes in it!. The way it is, it's a little like a mixed metaphor!. Www@QuestionHome@Com
heh, i am in a similar situation or was!.!.!. but now i might move back there and i don't want to!.!.!.!. and i am going back there and i have to now confront my past!. I am scared!.!.!.!. :(Www@QuestionHome@Com
It makes you sound very rebellious, were you part of a satanic cult or something!? How many hearts did you break with your warm chest!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
I like it!.
!.!.!.!.!.holes turn the fabric to a delicate lace before it disappears!.!. Www@QuestionHome@Com