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Question: Would you read and comment on a "Black" sonnet!?
"Black"
by Peter E!. Benoit
If every color's absent in what's black
Why is this absent hue found everywhere!?
It is the world of the insomniac
Who ruminates all night in dire despair!.
it is the essence of the raven's cloak
Who comes to mark the stealthy step of Death,
The moonless night before the morning broke,
The final curtain that all severeth!.
Black is the color of a world of blight
Where all that's wrapped in brighter raiment dies;
Black is the color not one will invite,
Yet in the end not one lone soul denies!.
Black is the bound and border of our lives --
It feeds the very heart that it deprives!.
I wrote this last evening as the answer to a question and decided to post it because it is flawed, yet somehow interesting!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Wow! It is interesting to say the very least!. Your ability to write on the fly reminds me of Frost (read, "The Silken Tent," written in ten minutes as the result of a challenge from his daughter)!. I love your subtle alliteration, "dire desire", "stealthy step", etc!. There are many wonderful lines, but I especially like, "it is the essence of the raven's cloak/Who comes to mark the stealthy step of Death" (an allusion to Poe!?) I would not revise very much, but how about, "In every color's absence is what's black", or "In every color's absence there is black!?" I might also lose "severeth"; the archaic language seems somewhat out of place!. Maybe you could work in something like "breath" or "breadth" as a rhyme!. When I grow up I want to be just like you!Www@QuestionHome@Com
The lights availed to blinded eyes
seen by none our answers stay!.
The question lines of ending tie
but silence stood on breaking day!.
Cannot be represent in all our minds
and marks us to the twitch of all!.
Broken lights of all the kinds
but adjoining of the lighting call!.
Represents nothing but claims existence!.
That blankets in warmth and blinds with cold!.
invitation not; brought by insistence!.
shimmering as if charcoal gold!.
none deny it be so bold!.
black and white, in twilight fold!.
-H
Do you see the importance of thinking inside the box and not on the opposite side!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
Excellent!.!.!.well-written and thought-provoking as always!. Are you watching, poetry wannabes!? This is how it should be done!. (Capital 'i' on line 5, Peter!.)Www@QuestionHome@Com
Interesting Grandma Jane
And surfergirl is your niece!.!.I seeWww@QuestionHome@Com