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Question: Well, hows this for a melancholy poem!?

I think I'm screaming,

But I have yet to make a sound!.

My mind tells me I'm standing,

But I know I've hit the ground!.

I try to let myself decide,

and trust my decisions are free of fail!.

But I've been torn too much now,

and poked by this taunting nail!.

I feel so stupid, I trust too much in false hope and petty surprises!.

There are many faces they have, too many distinct disguises!.

I have had it with this depth that engulfs me in,

I've let myself down to often, and introduced myself to too much sin!.

Theres this sickness that lives inside me, a fidgeting burning in my cells!.

I guess I can count on my tears to extinguish, when all else fails!.

Still, I need this hope, where the sickness is born!.

I'll deal with the consequences, though I really wasn't warned!.

I know I can get back up, but I need a hand to progress!.

It makes no sense that where I need you more, you need me less!.Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
It's beautiful!

I really like the use of language and rhyming - I think it's really clever!. It is very melancholy!.!.!.very sad!. I love the way the first line is the shortest - I think it makes a really good beginning!.

Congrats! That's a really good poem(much better than i could ever do;D)

Have you got a name for it!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

" I need you more !.!.!.!. you need me less!.!.!."
Will sum up well
A broken union !

But your poem presents one
Who's trying to learn about one's own self
Plus the others in his / her life,
And has all the potential
To guide himself / herself well!.

Your melancholy poem is good,
And you can make it better by polishing it a little!.

And !.!.!.!.!.!. ,
Why melancholy !?
Why not mellow into Good Cheer !
Life is short,
Make the best of it !Www@QuestionHome@Com

I think its quite melancholy it captures the unhappy mood well through the use of emotive language

descriptive, captivating and good use of imagery Www@QuestionHome@Com

pretty deep!. and dark!. and, well, melancholy!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Beautiful really! I can associate with it!. The last two lines are too good!.


If u r really in such a situation, i wish u luck to 'get back up'!.
Believe in urself !.!.!.!.!.=) Www@QuestionHome@Com

more my style, girl!.Www@QuestionHome@Com