Help me improve my writing: critique this poem?

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Question:

He faces the firing squad,
pockets bulging with razor blades and bullet shells,
cigarette butts and puppy tails!.

Ethanol courses through brittle veins,
Suppress the pain; save it for later!.
How about for dinner!?
The nourishment for his broken heart!.

Testimony tumbles on deaf ears,
glass eyes!.
Their greedy beaks contorted into grotesque sneers!.
They play the part of human well!.
Accusatory fingers bent in collective scorn!.
Kabuki masks and uniform!.

Upturned palms in a pathetic display of remorse!.
He pleads for redemption,
God, save this boy!.

Knees buckle,
head hits pavement!.
Did not miss!.
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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

it gave me a chill when i read it!. very good at drenching the poem with emotion!. is it for a class or does it have to be written in a certain style!? i found the verses of the poem kinda off, but if its jst for fun, then i think its great!. ur very good!. :)Www@QuestionHome@Com

i think its really good, actually, thats quite good,
i would suggest going onto booksie!.com and making an account, they are free, and you can posts stories, poems, fan fics, anything there (: i have one, my name on it is Cassie Lawson !. i've been writing poems since i can remember, when i was fou i have a published poem called lillypads , in my fourthgrade year , 'A Celebration Of Young Poets Ohio Spring 2004' i have a poem page 68 called marbles!. i did pagents and writing contests as a kid (:
i mean little kid lol im still a kid (: but thats good
you paint a good picture,
knees buckle,
head hits pavement!.
Did not miss!.
i PICTURED that in my head (:
though i do that i have a weird case of ADHD and some others, but i liked this (:Www@QuestionHome@Com

oooohh! i loved it!. that is all i can think of to describe this!.!. you shouldnt change ANYTHING!!! I could picture it in my head like i was expiercing it :)Www@QuestionHome@Com

leave it as it is!.!.!. great writing!.!.!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com