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Question: Is this good or bad please help me decide i wrote and someone wants to publish it !?
Lost & Found
I often think of the world of today,
Can anyone see the violence and dismay!.
Some man is killed trying to rob a bank,
While someones little girl is hooked on crank!.
People are even killing their own brothers,
Our dear children are disrespecting their own mothers!.
We scrape pennies together to make ends meet,
While some mother sales her child for an addictive need!.
Mr!. president is supposed to make it better for us all,
All he cares about is nonsense wars and playing golf!.
People dig through the trash to find a piece of meat,
While our kids are being killed by the drugs on the street!.
I look at all the madness and ask does anyone care,
You can't even walk outside without being scared!.
Crime,corruption, and drugs are every where,
Still we act like we just don't care!.
Women can't leave their homes after dark,
The news tells of a kid killed while playing in a park!.
I ask myself will this torture ever end,
And realize soon we will answer for our sins!.
One day we will all stand at the pearly gates,
For some that one day may be too late!.
As I watch the world of today go round and round,
I often see the lost and found!.
Christopher Ray Elings
Copyright ?2008 Christopher Ray Elings
clubcre is me btw i write alotWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Poetry has many aspects!.!.!.first there is form; you chose rhymed couplets, which is difficult to do without sounding too rhymy!. Your longer lines and varied line lengths helped break up the pattern and soften the rhyme sounds!.!.!.different line breaks that would have put the rhyme into the body of a follow-on line might have helped further!. Secondly, there is content!. If you're showing us an image, or how you feel, it is inherently "truthful" and you don't need supporting arguments because you're simply showing us an image, an emotion, etc!. However, you make some claims that can't be supported!.!.!.for example, the reason children disrespect their mothers is because secular progressives have taken away the ability of many parents to discipline their children without having child protective services get involved!.!.!.and the president simply "presides" over the executive branch, which cannot, repeat "cannot" do anything without the blessing of congress (the house and the senate)!.!.!.so no, the president is "NOT" supposed to "make it better for us"!.!.!."we're" supposed to make it better for us!. Wars are an extention of politics when political sanctions fail to achieve an objective!.!.!.there have always been wars, there will probably always be wars!.!.!.it's a terrible thing, but as long as their is hate and greed, there will be wars!. The people who dig through trash for food didn't think it was "cool" to go to school, a right that is "free" in this country, so it's often taken for granted!. It is not society's job to take care of those who don't want to take care of themselves, just our job to take care of those who cannot take care of themselves!. The reason there are drugs everywhere is because there are people buying drugs everywhere!.!.!.the bottom line is that when people stop getting free handouts and have to work for a living, they'll either step up to the task or fade away!. Every time you give someone something for nothing, you simply teach them they don't have to do anything to get something!.!.!.that's not help, that's taking away their self-respect!. Thirdly, be careful of your spelling and malapropisms!.!.!."someone's", not "someones", "sells", not "sales", etc!.
Your heart is good, your poetic ear is good, I'd suggest you state what you see rather than deduce the problems!.!.!.it will keep your position out of the equation and allow others to make their own conclusions!. For example, if you said, "some go hungry while others throw food away", you'd be stating an observation!.!.!.and if you wanted to show a possible cause, you could say, "some study hard, others play hard"!.!.!.and it would just depend on your perspective!.!.!.because you could aslo say, "some work hard for money, some work others hard for money"!. The first would be a right-wing perspective, the second would be a left-wing perspective, but either would present two observations and allow the reader to make up their own mind!.
Finally, be careful of those who want to "publish" your poems!. If they charge you to get a copy of what they publish your poem into, it's called a "vanity press", Poetry!.com is the most famous of these "publishers", but there are others!. True, legitimate publishers who think your poems are good enough to print will either pay you for your poem, provide you a free copy or copies of the publication that will include your poem, or will simply tell you up front that your poem is going to be published in such-and-such which will be available at newstands or bookstores on a particular date!. If the publisher tells you that you can "buy" a copy of the book your poem will be "featured" in, beware!.!.!.the only book that may contain your poem is the one you buy!. Just a word of caution from someone in the business!.
meanwhile, keep writing!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I really like it and agree with it!. It's so sad to hear the kind of things going on in the world today!. I don't even like to watch the news anymore because of all the depressing stuff!. I would really like to read more of your stuff!. Keep up the writing and, yeah, make sure that the publisher is legit and everything!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
That's very powerful-range of words and feeling are very compelling!.
Have you considered self publishing!? Lulu is a neat place that has tools available to assist!. Link included in source!. Www@QuestionHome@Com
this is wonderful u should get it published !.u speak about life itself and how it hurts and wat ppl go through!. good luck with ur poem being published if u decide u want it to!.Www@QuestionHome@Com