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Question: Poem,and life is funny,share and rate,!?
Life is funny
It collects us
And throw us a part
Away from the people we love
Life is funny
It says we will be for ever
Then
Suddenly
It breaks the boat
And we drawn in a sea of tears
Life is funny
We think we will live till the end
Then
Death falls between the years
And strike us
With the reality
And who can ever learn
No one I think
Because simply
Life is funny
I can still hear the cat meows
She calls her brother
God knows what happened to him
She is a stray
But she has a heart
That’s why
I say that
Till I cry
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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Good concept, needs editing!.
Life is funny
It collects us
then throws us apart
away from those we love
third line: "throws", not "throw" and "apart", vs "a part", changed "and" to "then"!. fourth line: changed "people" to "those" because we lose more than just people close to us!.!.!.see your last stanza!.
Next stanza needs lots of work, but it has a good concept for the last line!.!.!.only it's "drown", not "drawn"!. Both this stanza and the next deal with the same issue: something that looks like it will go on for some time, suddenly stops!.!.!.find a way to combine both stanzas and you'd have a powerful single stanza!.!.!.oh, and life never "says" it will be forever!.!.!.that's just an assumption we make when we're young!. The last stanza is actually quite good, though I'd edit the first two lines like this:
I can still hear the cat
meowing for her brother
It's this last stanza that really brings the poem down to Earth!.!.!.that slaps us with the depth and reality of death and the transcience of life!.!.!.because even a cat feels loss of loved ones!.!.!.and it affects us as waves of empathy and sympathy!. Very good ending!.
!.!.!.keep writing Www@QuestionHome@Com
Very cute and collective writing!. You are at ease tossing thoughts as they flow!. Good work!. That shows much confidence!. I admire your deep emotional expressions!.Www@QuestionHome@Com