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Question: I'm trying to write a haiku- do you like it!?
the last drop of snow
citrus sparkling in the air
wear my summer hat

sight of sakura
ever the butterflies want
put behind my ears

sun saying goodbye
the sea waves a serene blue
nice evening with tea


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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
The basic form for all three Haiku is correct; syllable count, all lower case, etc!. The next thing to consider is whether or not the first two lines combine to make a single image that the third line parallels!.!.!.in this case, only the last Haiku complies; the first two last lines merely complete the phrase or image started with the first two lines!. In your first Haiku you say, "drop of snow"!.!.!.snow doesn't come in drops, it comes in flakes, and if you meant "melted snow", the drop would have come "from" snow, not be "of" snow!. It may seem a subtle difference, but in Haiku everything is amplified, so this is a critical error!. Another reply to your post already pointed out that "summer" and "winter" are not juxtaposed and are at odds when put that way in a single Haiku!. Although "traditional" Haiku contains a season word and a season character, modern "Haiku style" poems don't always have to be so!. However, if I were to suggest changes to your Haiku I'd recommend something like this:

snow melt's last drop falls
sparkling rays through citrus air
summer's hat must wait

sight of sakura
blossom braces butterfly
jealous is my ear

sun saying goodbye
to sea waves a serene blue
moon awaits my tea

These may not be "fantastic", but I hope you see where the third line creates an image that mirrors the concept of the first, but from a different angle!.!.!.the summer hat that is impatient for the seasons to pass, the ear that is jealous of the butterfly's proximity to the cherry blossom, and the moon that wakes for tea just as the sun says good-bye!.

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Yeah its good it doesnt make sense though cause spring come after winter so why are you wearing a summer hat and haikus are witty like i know im not writing it right but here it is My house burned down which makes it easier to see the moon!. But good job Www@QuestionHome@Com

yeah!it's summertime,,, your haiku is great!!! i swear, when i am reading it i accidentally smile, you made a great job, keep up the good work!!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com

すごい下手 やまてくださいWww@QuestionHome@Com

Sure!.Www@QuestionHome@Com