Long soft and deeply
You look at me
Face lights up
Lips curve
Smile
Eyes bright
What a sight
You hypnotize
Is this a surprise!?
(We are using syllables not words 543212345 and yes I do have a muse in my pocket)
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Position:Home>Poetry> All those with opinions.. critique this one.. please?Question: All those with opinions!.!. critique this one!.!. please!? Long soft and deeply
You look at me Face lights up Lips curve Smile Eyes bright What a sight You hypnotize Is this a surprise!? (We are using syllables not words 543212345 and yes I do have a muse in my pocket) Www@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Looks like that muse is OUT of your pocket! Very! interesting, new, formatting in poetics! Creativity is your name!.!.!.just keep it going!.!.!.make this a challenge!! of a new form!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com It's pretty good but the last line, might I add!. in continuation!? and I will arise, as a nymph that flies, to your dark green eyes, to be your surprise!. Www@QuestionHome@Com Interesting, I like it without the last line, seems more mysterious, I like mystery!.Www@QuestionHome@Com I think it is very beautiful!. It is spare with words, not over flowery but conveys everything I think it is meant to!. Well done!Www@QuestionHome@Com A poet is a master of words!. I feel you could have done more if you were not restricted by that 543212345 syllable form!. Www@QuestionHome@Com Way to go,,, very fine bit of verse and I do like the format,,, do whatever it takes to hold onto that museWww@QuestionHome@Com Loved it, loved it, loved it! Good on you! maWww@QuestionHome@Com Hide the HP sauce!.!.!.!.the muse is backWww@QuestionHome@Com Ya did good on this one!.Www@QuestionHome@Com I'm just pleased to read you!Www@QuestionHome@Com |