Position:Home>Poetry> What do you think of this poem I made? (please read)?
Question: What do you think of this poem I made!? (please read)!?
I space out into a unfamiliar world I forget my sorrows and its the only time I have to myself!.
without being interupted by anger and sadness!.
I spaceout and see white I feel white I dont feel dark black!.
I cant see in front of me I cant see behind me I cant even see me!.
I space out of life in a world of illusion a nightmare without monsters and a dream without angels!.
Just a quite place for me and no sorrows!.
I space out of that direction but it last for a few seconds then something takes me back to reality!.
I love that feeling of nothing but the feeling of something awlays gets in the way!. !.!.!.!.!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
well!.!.!.this is just me!.!.!.when i read this it spoke to me in a different way than any other poems i have ever read!.!.!.its not the best poem in the world!.!.but it was pretty impressive!.!.!.
i write poems also!.!.!.and i thought that it was pretty good!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
very deep!.
some words a little to mundane for the theme, but that can be changed!.!.!.!.!.(hey --person who rewrote the whole thing in their comment -- no offense, but stuckup-much!? lol
its good!. i like it!.!.!.!.and i hope that if this truly reflects you, writing is an outlet that can help you go from black, to gray, and, hopefully to white!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
its really deep but i would change spaceout and "but it last for a few seconds" and change it to something more profound!.
I lose my senses to an unfamiliar world I forget my sorrows and Im suddenly in a realm of myself!.
without interupptions by anger and sadness!.
I cant see in front of me I cant see behind me!.
I have lost myself in my realm!.
All I see is nothing!. My nothing is white!.I feel white!.
I dont feel dark anymore!.
I become part of a world of illusion!.
Part of a nightmare without monsters
Part of a dream without angels!.
Just a quiet place for me to wait until my sorrows come!.
And now they found me!.
They Grab me!.
They drag me back from my world and back to your world!. Their world!.
I long for that feeling of nothingness and I long for my world!.
but the sorrows hold me back here in this world!.
And I want them to die!.
And I want them to see Black!.
And Black
And More until there is none and they are lost in a sea of nothingness!.
The sea where I can Drown My sorrows!.Www@QuestionHome@Com