Position:Home>Poetry> Comment on poem , any improvements to make this poem better & more in depth ?
Question: Comment on poem , any improvements to make this poem better & more in depth !?
I wrote this to cope with my grandma death on Monday!. hope you can help!.
The poem is as follows:
How do I comfort grieving daughters & sons missing & pining for their mother !?
What do I say to a woman who has lost her husband recently & now her mother !?
Who does a grieving husband turn to when he is thinking of his love , his late wife!?
Where do I go when my mother is missing her mum and has to be strong for her father & family!?
Why am I feeling so numb when I should be crying a river !?
When will this feelings of loss & sadness change to something better!?
So many memories with you, grandma that are whirling , floating in my thoughts!.
I pray that you will join your love ones in heaven and may someday we will be reunited for eternity!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Those are your words, thoughts and feelings and they are beautiful!.!.!.!. you shouldn't accept any outside influence!.!.!. YOU'RE in the moment, not us and your family will appreciate it a lot!Www@QuestionHome@Com
Apart from the spelling corrections, I wouldn't change a thing!.
Poems that have a lot of emotional significance and feelings in them really don't need to follow normal 'rules' of poetry!.
Though I would prefer you write 'and' instead of having an ampersand (&)
That's all the critique I really have!.
Nice work!Www@QuestionHome@Com
I am sorry you lost your grandma!.
The poem is beautiful !
2 corrections, just spelling: "when will THESE feelings!.!."
and "that you will join your LOVED ones"!.!.!.
It's really a good poem !Www@QuestionHome@Com
I THINK U SHOULD OUT A PREDICTIVE ANSWER FOR AFTER EERY SECOND OR EACH QUESTION!.!.!. ITS VERY NICE BUT TO MANY QUESTIONS AND NO ANSWERS TRY FOR A QUESTION TO ANSWER LIKE THIS: IM LOOKING FOR ANOTHER ANSWE!.!.!.!. AN ANSWER THAT IIS PURSUING THE QUESTION!.!.!.ITS IN MY MIND ITS IN MY SOUL BUT I CANT EXPLAIN IT IN HUMAN WORDS!.!.!.!. SOMETHING MYSTICAL TALK TO UR GRANDMA!.!.!.LIKE I KNOW U ARE THERE AND WE ARE HERE BUT I STILL FEEL UR PRESENCE NEAR AND UR GRANDMA TALKS BACK: HONEY MY LOVELY GRANDCHILD I LOVE UU SO MUCH I MISS U THAT U CANT EVEN IMAGIN BUT I CANT GO FROM THIS PLACE YET!.!.!.!. WE ARE GONNA MEET ONCE AGAIN AT A PLACCE WHERE NO ONE CRIES AND THEN U WRITE IT LIKE MY GRANDMA SPOKE THIS TO ME IN MY DREAMS I KNOW IT WASNT ONLY A DRAEAM BECFCAUSE I FELT HER WARM HAND TOUCHING MY FORHEAD AND HER TIRED EYES WATCHING ME AMAZED!.!.!. IM SORRY FOR UR GRANDMAWww@QuestionHome@Com