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Question: How does my poem make you feel!?
Eyes squinting in the light,
The thought of you, helps me fight,
Close to death, Can go fast and slow,
Will I survive, only time will know,
Bodies all around me, deep in thought,
Waiting for a miracle, looking distraught,
A Doctor with a tool, nearing my chest,
I’m going to win, must hope for the best
Awaking to the sounds, the voices I know,
I open my eyes, I sit up nice and slow,
I’m getting better, Spirits arise with relief,
Huddling around, there is everything but grief!.
How does this poem make you feel!?
Although i made it up, how does itm ake you fell!. ie!. sad, joyful!.!.!.!.!.
Thankyou, all honest comments are welcome!.
P!.S - i'm only 15!.!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
well done
it was amazing
i nearly cried
you have a future in writing!.
good luckWww@QuestionHome@Com
Once again I do find issue using "I"!."I'M" etc, because it implies the story is about yourself!. Perhaps write it from a different point of view!. The poem is OK, a bit basicWww@QuestionHome@Com
it makes me!.!.!. inquisitive!. haha i'm still trying to figure out what it's about, but i think i'm looking too far into it!.
what's it about!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
It makes me remember past experiences, very well done for a 15 yr old!!!!
crazy!.
Please continue writing and posting these !Www@QuestionHome@Com
I only can says!.!. Miracle will come to you, only if you believe it will be happen!.!. keep writing!.!. thats great!.!. regards, favoWww@QuestionHome@Com
It's good how you set up the suspense and how at the end there is relief!. The end result is joyous!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Congratulations!!! for a 15yr old that is really good!!!!
it mad me feel really sad and emotional and then happy and glad!. :-)Www@QuestionHome@Com
On the first part I see a hope but in the last I think you kill me!. I had fun reading it!.
Www@QuestionHome@Com
Dead inside!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
hornyWww@QuestionHome@Com
good one!!keep it up!keep writing and sure you will be one of the bests!Www@QuestionHome@Com
And I heard a rapping!.!.!.a rap tap tapping at my front door!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
the end of world war twoWww@QuestionHome@Com
really good it was touching i felt bad for the girl
Www@QuestionHome@Com