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Question: How does my poem make you feel!?
Eyes squinting in the light,

The thought of you, helps me fight,

Close to death, Can go fast and slow,

Will I survive, only time will know,

Bodies all around me, deep in thought,

Waiting for a miracle, looking distraught,

A Doctor with a tool, nearing my chest,

I’m going to win, must hope for the best

Awaking to the sounds, the voices I know,

I open my eyes, I sit up nice and slow,

I’m getting better, Spirits arise with relief,

Huddling around, there is everything but grief!.




How does this poem make you feel!?


Although i made it up, how does itm ake you fell!. ie!. sad, joyful!.!.!.!.!.


Thankyou, all honest comments are welcome!.

P!.S - i'm only 15!.!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
well done
it was amazing

i nearly cried

you have a future in writing!.

good luckWww@QuestionHome@Com

Once again I do find issue using "I"!."I'M" etc, because it implies the story is about yourself!. Perhaps write it from a different point of view!. The poem is OK, a bit basicWww@QuestionHome@Com

it makes me!.!.!. inquisitive!. haha i'm still trying to figure out what it's about, but i think i'm looking too far into it!.

what's it about!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

It makes me remember past experiences, very well done for a 15 yr old!!!!

crazy!.

Please continue writing and posting these !Www@QuestionHome@Com

I only can says!.!. Miracle will come to you, only if you believe it will be happen!.!. keep writing!.!. thats great!.!. regards, favoWww@QuestionHome@Com

It's good how you set up the suspense and how at the end there is relief!. The end result is joyous!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Congratulations!!! for a 15yr old that is really good!!!!
it mad me feel really sad and emotional and then happy and glad!. :-)Www@QuestionHome@Com

On the first part I see a hope but in the last I think you kill me!. I had fun reading it!.
Www@QuestionHome@Com

Dead inside!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

hornyWww@QuestionHome@Com

good one!!keep it up!keep writing and sure you will be one of the bests!Www@QuestionHome@Com

And I heard a rapping!.!.!.a rap tap tapping at my front door!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

the end of world war twoWww@QuestionHome@Com

really good it was touching i felt bad for the girl
Www@QuestionHome@Com