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Question: Critique my poem!? please please!?
Ok, i know it needs ALOT of work!. it doesn't flow and i wrote it really quickly!. soo!.!. yeah, here goes!.!.!. oh and, bear in mind it's a follow up to another poem i did!.

Stained Glass Window (title)

I pass your crimson sheets,
Avoiding the feminine eye!.
As my absent gaze meets,
I suppress a lonely sigh!.

Once you have my thought,
How can I turn away!?
I'm a moth that has been caught!.
Your love I can't repay!.

I was the reason you left,
You didn't want me to die!.
I stole all sense of freedom,
Now I know,
Love, you cannot buy!.

You had to say goodbye,
And lend me a weeping face!.
Do angels really cry!?
Because it's my tears that you trace!.Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
omg! your poem needs no work whats so ever! don't lay a finger on it!
it is beautiful with a class of eloquence!.
is this based on true emotions!? because it is very powerful!.
good job and keep writing!
cheers:]Www@QuestionHome@Com

It is nice!. I like the rhyming words!.!.

Can you help me with mine!?
http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

It sounds awesome good job Www@QuestionHome@Com

very nice
Www@QuestionHome@Com

This sounds good, but doesn't hold up under scrutiny!.!.!.
crimson sheets!.!.!.!.why crimson - did some-one bleed to death!?
feminine eye!.!.!.whose!? Is the person in bed a women/or the man has a
woman lying next to him!.
(perhaps your other poem would have helped but I haven't read it)
Absent gaze!.!.!.!.just about works but 'meets'!.!.!.must be followed with something -meets what!?

After that it gets better!.!.!.!.but, it could still do with a bit more work as you rightly say!.

I'm sorry if this isn't what you wanted to hear!.!.!.perhaps this will help!.
You obviously have a way with words, you cope well with the structure of poetry and I'm sure you will grow and gain success as a poet with more experience!.Www@QuestionHome@Com