Position:Home>Poetry> A trigee -A Tear or a Cheer?

Interesting Trigee!. I took the liberty of rearranging this as I thought the right side should start first!. The other thing with Trigees is the need to use transitional words to keep flow!.

Today the sun shines!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.But it’s a sad day
as my heart sings……………!.!.!.…without a smile
Thoughts are mulled over……!.!.!.!.!.!.as my head hangs low
If I should continue…………!.!.!.!.!.…just wondering
To keep pen flowing……!.!.…!.!.!.!.!.…if I really exist
Www@QuestionHome@Com

---

---

I've given up on writing these because of the lack of meter and rhythm!.

It certainly is a Trigee, there is poetry in there!.!.!. but I can't help but think more traditional forms produce a more fluid thought!.
I hope you don't mind if I give you an example of my point by using your words!. I'm not trying to write a different poem, only explaining why I have trouble with Trigees!. I can't tell you if what you wrote is good or bad, I can only say!.!.!. they confuse me, all of them!.

My heart singing, the sun s bright
day turns sad with a broken smile
head now down and I lose precious sight
many thoughts mulled until dark night

I am here to wonder if I
should continue here and deny
that I might re-fuse to exist
with pen flowing while you're amidst

I wanted to say something constructive, and I certainly enjoy your poems, I hope this makes sense!. I also hope someone more qualified in Trigees, gives you good tips related to them!.

Www@QuestionHome@Com

---

---

You've got me on this one!. Your #1 is VERY strong and so is #3 in my opinion!. #2 seems to have a bit of contrast within itself (which is absolutely fine) and leaves me confused!. 'If I should continue' doesn't seem as joyous as the first 2 lines, as if there is still doubt within the singing heart, know what I mean!?
I'm only trying to be helpful and offer my opinion!. In no way am I qualified to critique anyone's hard work!
You done good!Www@QuestionHome@Com

---

---

A sad today!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.The sun shines
Without a smile!.!.!.!.My heart sings
Head hung low!.!.!.!.!.!.Thoughts are mulled over
Just wondering!.!.!.!.!.!.Should I continue
If I exist!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.To keep the pen aflow!.

I took the liberty of making a couple of changes that I think help with the flow of sound and thought!.
This is a wonderful example of a trigee, especially because the meaning changes so much with each phase of reading the different parts!. Thank you!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

---

---

Excellent example MB!.!.!.TYWww@QuestionHome@Com

---

---

Good choice!. But can you make the lines flow better!? They're a little bit choppy!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

---

---

Cheer! Keep that pen hot!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

---

---

Reenie is the Trigee Queen!. She knows more than anyone about Trigees (except maybe for the form's creator)!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

---

---