Question Home

Position:Home>Poetry> Poem....critique for me please!?


Question: Poem!.!.!.!.critique for me please!!?
I'm forgetting who I was back then,
Cause I know that you wont stay around,
My life is heading to where I want it to,
But this all just doesn't add up to you!.

So I'll bide my time as I sketch my life,
On some paper that is made of skin,
On your arms which are growing thin,
I can't wait till I save myself!.

I can't help but get annoyed every time you complain,
Now do you still wonder why I feel this pain,
I love you to death but now your killing me,
This is my life so stop trying to fill it!.

Whats the problem that your faced with,
I guess it's just your lack of attention,
Well look at me and see my eyes they are bleeding,
I hope you know I'm willing to let you go!.

Consequences are alwasy your first defence,
Well I'm battling for the truth tonight!.
Defend yourself and defend your friends,
But I guess I will get over it in the end!.

I'm like your rug cause you walk all over me,
Well right now I'm about to fight back,
I've had enough of this constant drama,
So from here on in it's just you and only you!.

Don't look so surprised as I open your insides,
I was made for this, this is who I am,
I am the guy that you have always wanted,
But when you got you throw me to the wind!.Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I thought it was really good, it was really deep!. Are you going through any hard times or personal times!. Actually, you don't have to answer that, maybe it's better if some things are better left to the imagination and the creativity of the writer :)
I thought it was well structured and it does seem very personal to someone if not you then someone!. Very great work!Www@QuestionHome@Com

This the kind of poetry I like because it sounds personal and seems like it comes form experience so it comes across so real!.Www@QuestionHome@Com