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Position:Home>Poetry> Critique my poem???????????Question: Critique my poem!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? Loose words in my mind
Can’t seem to find Their way through my writing vessel My trusty pencil Thoughts stuck in my head Can’t make it through the lead Text destined to be stuck for all time In a line that doesn’t rhyme Lost souls that can’t reach the paper Stay confined in the mind of the writer Any commetns welcome ^_^Www@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: I see by your poem its about the attempt to find word to express, but unable to regardless of the effort!. As a result the effort is and will be confined!. I see you wrote this poem beautifully, and its in a rhyming combination!. - Lost Things: Articles that are missing will remain gone!. No matter how hard to search or asking where it went!. Look all day or all night it may show up and not!. Www@QuestionHome@Com My, you are brave! Very clever poem - are you sure want a critique!? you are opening yourself up for comments that will make you sing, 'look what they've done to my song'!.!.!. ;) I read it a few times, The line about the trusty pencil is very cute- but would it sound better with out this line!? Not all poems have to have equal amounts of rhyming words, do they!? and although, I think I am following what you are trying to say at the end, do you think you need to rework it!? Perhaps make a comparison of the line 'Text!.!.!. and In a line -' to something that gives imagery!?!.!. text destined to be stuck for all time, in a line that doesn't rhyme, like a planet sailing!.!.!.!. Keep working on it - I like the topic, it is a very catchy poem - Good job!Www@QuestionHome@Com I can see what you are trying to convey but when you say it's a poem then it has to meet certain requirements!. In other words stay away from cliche!. Use fresh language, metaphors, similes etc!. The most noticeable weakness is it's flatness that is to say very prosaic writing!. Did I like your poem!? Absolutely!.Www@QuestionHome@Com weak subject matter!. you wrote a poem about not being able to write a poem, which is silly and paradoxical!. It's a bit boring and hard to read for being so short!. there's no meter to your poem, which is not a wise choice based on your standard rhyme scheme!. a decent attempt at a poem, however!. i knida like it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com thats really cool!.!.!. i like how your ends of most sentences rhymed!. can you give me your opinion!? http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Hey that's a really good writing idea you used, I like it, you have a lot of good words in there too!. Write more [:Www@QuestionHome@Com perfect!. this is what always happens to me i wanna hand your poem in to my teachers for an explanation thank you it was wonderfulWww@QuestionHome@Com |