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Question: Want to criticize a poem!?
i stand in silence
watching the wind
and the grass it blows aside
i look up at the white clouds
and they stare back at me
then in the moment i look away
one separates from the rest
it comes down to my parched land
and beckons me toward it
i walk the few steps it takes to reach it
it sits there staring up at me
seemingly waiting for me to make a move
waiting for me to take that one step
and stand resting on the wings of heaven
so i stand there
pondering over my life
and i endure that step
i fly off
together with my wings
i fly off and become
free
It feels odd to write a poem that doesn't rhyme!.
So good!? Bad!? Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
You have a good thing going!.
All I will say to you is, your thoughts are great without all the extra stuff!. Think about something like this, and these are ALL your words:
watching
grass blows
white clouds stare
I walk the few steps it takes to reach it
parched,
beckoning,
waiting!.
pondering life
i endure that step
and fly off
with wings
i fly and
become!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Nice piece of poetry! Never mind that rhyme is not perfect! It's good freeform literary work! If wish you can post it to my website - http://www!.gothlit!.com/ Good luck!Www@QuestionHome@Com
love it!Www@QuestionHome@Com