Question Home

Position:Home>Poetry> PLZ ANSWER....WHAT DO U THINK ABOUT MY POEM?


Question: PLZ ANSWER!.!.!.!.WHAT DO U THINK ABOUT MY POEM!?
Here is my poem:

It's called Open Door!.

Whenever you see an open door
Do you walk in or stand still
Life is like this
We don't know
If we should stand or go!?
If we should reach out a hand
There is no one man band
What do we do
When do we go
These are the questions we ask ourself everyday
To die or to pray
So if we believe
Can we actually acheive
Well I know what I gotta do
I gotta follow my heart
And believe in You!.

Tell me what you think!? also, here is another poem tell me what you think on that one
http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
It has POTENTIAL!! needs work!.

I understand what you are trying to do here!. You have a big decision and you are rationalizing it to yourself!. Should I go through this door!? Is it worth it!? Are my fears valid!? Am I over thinking this!? Just jump, i can't go though life alone!.!.!. I see the process!. I just feel like it was poorly executed!.

I think that you can do better if you put time in to it, don't settle for rhymes!.

The rhymes seem very forced!. No real beat!.

A prime example of forcing and settling is the line "If we should reach out a hand/There is no one man band" I read the second line and though "WHAT!?!!?" it comes out of nowhere and really has nothing to do with the poem (From were I am sitting anyway)!.

It has POTENTIAL!! needs work!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

There shouldn't be a question mark by 'If we should stand or go' unless it was 'should we stand or go'

Other than that it is okWww@QuestionHome@Com

thats a really good poem!
its really creative, keep writing them because your really good at poetry!Www@QuestionHome@Com

To a guys perceptive view I think its pretty and very well done!.

Www@QuestionHome@Com

It's open, clear, and to the point!.
I liked it!.

Www@QuestionHome@Com

Honestly!?

A little dullsville!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Thats really good and its really true =)Www@QuestionHome@Com

It sux!. Www@QuestionHome@Com

I think it was great!Www@QuestionHome@Com

O my goodness, this is good!. I think you are very creative!.

Keep up the good work!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

that was good!. i liked the end part!.Www@QuestionHome@Com