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Position:Home>Poetry> I am unclear on Emo. Does this poem Emote?Question: I am unclear on Emo!. Does this poem Emote!? *****
RESERVATIONS FOR ONE MILLION The fly waits patiently Rubbing his little black hands together He sees a million me’s A million maggot meal His iridescent green body twitches So excited to find such a feast Me and my meat, waiting to serve And the fly salivates From his ceiling perch He sees my hand tremble The gun wobbling in my unsteady grip “Get on with it!” he shouts, “We’re Hungry!” ***** Www@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: This is too funny to be Emo!. Emo lacks a sense of humor!. Www@QuestionHome@Com It's very good but the whole "mood" or "tone" or even "flow" is thrown off by the concluding line!. The idea is clear, the words precise!. I can picture the scene clearly and even the title plays into the little ordeal!. I really don't know what else to say but my poetry has been called "emo" so here's some of my writings: ***** I'M THE GIRL Alone I cry In the Darkest corner of all I'm the girl That's barely around Watching silently As my life goes by I open my mouth But out comes no sound Beauty means nothing I'm fragile as a dove I'm the girl who'd kill herself Looking for that one true love >>>>>>>>>>> LAST PLACE Dead in the eyes Of those loved most Silently, Tearlessly she cries Her body a ghost Reaching forl help Her hand falls away Held down by kelp Her body begins to sway Hiding her face But the truth comes out at last She has lost the race All but too fast ***** =) Www@QuestionHome@Com _A million maggot meal__ tongue twister!. First it emotes a slight essence of laughter, which fades at the end!. That's when the reader feels that whoever wrote this has a genius way of creating conclusion twists!. That end revealing makes the reader stop and think for a second!. I didn't see the guy as a hunter till the toe of the work!. Www@QuestionHome@Com That was so funny, you cannot see me, but my normally frowned face, cracked one at the end there!. I loved it- but I am a pretty twisted person!.!.!. Really like the "emo" touch, wasn't quite sure how it was going to end!. You know it's emo when you bust the gun out!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Ever heard of The Body Farm in Tennessee!? That's all I could envision!. No hunter, no suicidal candidate, just a squirming buffet like the ones you find at Circus Circus on too many acids!. At my funeral the only people I want there are some flies and their children, The Beetles, and maybe a coon or possum!. Did I mention that you're twisted--like bubble gum and hair!. Off to read some more brain candy!.Www@QuestionHome@Com You have a way of putting a twist on a poem's end, startling the reader!. This is what poetry should do--leave something for the reader beyond the end of the final puctuation!. It also proves that poetry is not always a serious business; poetry can and should be fun to read and write!.Www@QuestionHome@Com OMG roflmao Where the hell do you come up with all of this stuff--so hilarious! (still laughing and hardly can type!) You initials now just making a joke here don't get your feathers in a wad!After reading this I kind of said to myself Laughingly, this is so Totally Demented in a good and funny way! Why that came to me I don't know , lol Snidely the rooster put me up to this he held his feather to my head! Cheers!Www@QuestionHome@Com Reservations for 1 million heh, so what should we call ya!. TD's Buffet Heaven!. This is a interesting thought you penned!. You did a good job making it comedical!. Keep em coming!.Www@QuestionHome@Com No!.Www@QuestionHome@Com |