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Question: I would like some opinions please!?
It was a brief moment in time when I
Could run like the wind and jump so
High as to touch the clouds, and float
Down to the soft green earth gently
Landing and at once beginning to fly
Again with endless energy, staying out
In natures' air, sun, and all the elements
For hours and hours and the energy was
Without end!. Playing; playing is what it was!.
I found in the present time my mind had
Remained the same with that urge to play!.
My body was not all unresponsive, but near
Enough to let me know the two were no
Longer in cooperation!. I wanted to play again!.
There was only one way to touch the sky!.
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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
It is quite good and descriptive!.
i'm wondering if this is really an appropriate thing for yahoo answers though!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I like what the poem says; it reminds me of my childhood dreams where I could jump so high my stomach would get that roller coaster feeling!. But, the enjambments make it hard to read smoothly!. I'd suggest working on where you end your lines!. For example:
It was a brief moment in time
When I could run like the wind,
Jump so high as to touch the clouds,
For instance, unless you have a reason for ending them where you did and I'm just not getting it!.
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I like it!. Starts off strong; I like the descriptive phrases, really helps me to imagine the actions!. I'm not sure about the last few lines!. Definitely applies or will eventually apply to everyone!. That's what makes it good!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Very much a prose poem!. I would work on adding more punctuation to make the reader pause where you want!.
It was!.!.!.a brief moment in time, when I etc!.
Just an idea!. I like the images and progression!.Www@QuestionHome@Com