A poem I wrote, you like?

Question: A poem I wrote, you like!?

Please, tell me if I need to change anything, but don't be too harsh, i'm only 13!

Sweetly whisper into my ear
tonight no goodbyes I wish to hear
Your warm embrace keeps me alive
on your sweet love only, I thrive
Your wish is my command
But spare me please, from releasing your hand
Your love for me is my greatest desire
please, say it's true before I expireWww@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

You did rather well, but there are definitely places to improve!. Rhyming poetry needs to have meter in order to read with a poetic bounce!. I will give you a link to a web site I recommend as a reference to different types of meters and how they are composed and used!.
http://www!.uncg!.edu/~htkirbys/meters!.htm
I use this one extensively, maybe it will help you as much as it does me!. Keep writing!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Wow that takes me back to when I was that young!.!.!.full of dreams and passion for writing and the idea of love!. Keep writing I think you have a lot of talent!. Never stop writing!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

there is nothing that needs to be changed!. you did a fine job, but i will say i do not like your use of the word "it's"!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

thats good, intamit!.

to be honest i dont love the word expire!. but thats about all that fitsWww@QuestionHome@Com

that's pretty good writing for a 13 year old!.
its deep!. i like it :)

peace xWww@QuestionHome@Com

wow ts
great!!!
=)Www@QuestionHome@Com

I loved this!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Although still young!.!.!.you have heart to your words!. Thank You for sharing!.Www@QuestionHome@Com