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Question: Does my poetry breathe!?
I have chosen this poem in order to gain outside criticism!.
It is not my best, and is quiet short, but it's sufficient for the question!.
Thank you for any of your comments!.
The reacurring pain - be fiercer than the constant
The constant be - an Endurable thing
( In mental security )
But the Reacurring bleats - in it's absence
( Reasuring triumphantly ) -
' I shall return to thee! '
Yes better it is to tease the heart -
Than run the whole thing through
Tho time does play - it's cruel part
The visits with Peace - make it trueWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I would have a hard time saying that this poem breathes for me!. I think the parenthesis jumble it up a bit!. The lady above me is spot on there!.
I am not sure if it is your preface or the whole poem but it seems heady, elitist maybe!. I am sure it was your preface!. I entered this poem annoyed if I am honest!. Despite that I do like it!. But it doesn't have life if that is what you mean by breathe!. And the Last line for me seems forced a bit!.
These are my thoughts!. I don't know what would make it breathe for me!. maybe nothing!.
EDIT: What ever blows your hair back!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
If this piece of ofal is breathing at all, it needs to be held underwater until it stops!.
It's crap!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
great!.your poem does breath, if you don't read the parentheses!.Www@QuestionHome@Com