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Question: What is wrong with my poem!? please tell me!.!?
Cyber-drift

Drifted off again in cyberspace
But seems that so have they
I‘ve been sitting here typing
Had my say…!.
Then off looking at something
For who knows how long!?
When I suddenly realize
You are gone!
I start another conversation
Actually 3 of them
And off I go to read a poem
And drift away again!.
Drifting in and drifting out
No one seems to mind!.
Am I just wasting time!?
Time to waste and taste and savor
Pleasures for the senses
Let’s turn some music on!.
I’m drifting out again!.
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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I read this with much amusement!.!.!.I do the same thing!
You well worded poem is honest and true!. Very well done!Www@QuestionHome@Com

It is good to take time to savor the arts--poetry and music--and to express one's thoughts in poetry!. "Pleasures for the senses!."

You might consider tightening the poems up a bit, deleting unnecessary words like "actually" and "but," which lend no power to the poem!. I would also suggest that you spell out all numbers!.

I enjoy reading your poems and watching you develop as a poet!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Nice quiet reflective poem!. I took the liberty of editing this to show you how removing some 'useless' words can actually enhance your thoughts!. Punctuation is the key to keep the reader following your flow!.

Drifted again in cyberspace
seems that so have they!.
Been sitting here typing,
had my say…!.
then off looking at something,
who knows how long,
when I suddenly realize,
you are gone!
I start another conversation,
actually, three of them
and off I go to read a poem
and drift away again!.
Drifting in…drifting out,
no one seems to mind!.
Am I just wasting time,
time to waste, taste, savor,
pleasures for the senses!.
Let’s turn some music on!.
I’m drifting… again!.
Www@QuestionHome@Com

Keep it far more simpler,that implies what you actually do in first person dialog !.Hope this helps !?

I Drifted off again in cyberspace
I drift off again & again and type words
that leave no trace
that leaves my thoughts in confusion
on the page
even though I:m full of angst and haste
it sounds to me like a lot of waste
some people cant always see my taste
why does this always come down to fate
or is it that i missed my date
who was standing at the gate
with a top hat & a cigar
eating pate & fish fries on his plateWww@QuestionHome@Com

a poem is a reflection of yourself,
so in untechnicaly terms, its up to you whats wrong, and no can opinionate on it seeing that its your own work,
but if your talking about text book errors, a big one would be no stanzas!Www@QuestionHome@Com

well its a little bit confusing but its pretty good!
--i give it thumbs up, hahahah!!

!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.and if u dont ming pls anser my question lol!!!=]
thanks!!

http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index!?!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

It is interesting play on words, but not a very interesting subject!. There is nothing wrong with it, it just doesn't appeal to the massesWww@QuestionHome@Com

ummmmmmmmmmmm!.!.!.:-x idk!. its kinda wierd but nice!.parts of it you need to take out like

"actuall 3 of them" that part was weird but the rest was AWESOME!Www@QuestionHome@Com

I got lost after the second line!. A poem has to make sense, but it can be deep at the same time!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

you lost me at the 2nd line :/Www@QuestionHome@Com