About two days ago I attempted a Partenza Ripresa with this same theme, but felt I did the form no good!. I thought maybe I would try it again from the Luc-Bat angle!.
(For Luc-Bat info: http://www!.thepoetsgarret!.com/orient!.htm!.!.!.
Darkness (not Byron’s)
The deep darkness did fall!.
Finally slumber stalled no more!.
Thoughts arose from their core
Like ash above, they soared then died!.
My voice unheard, I cried!.
And then again I tried, but nay;
The words, I need to say,
Powerless on their way, took flight
Towards strange, distant light,
Then echoed back a nighttime Hell;
Inward my soul then swelled!.
Tolling of Iron bells then rang!.
Then a darker night came!.
With: thunder, wind, and rain that cuts
Large chasms’ out of ruts,
Valleys, canyons, your guts--a hole
Blacker than void and null;
A contrast of Sun’s golden air
Life no longer needs care!.
The end is now, not near or far!.
Remember where we are!?
As always for a star !. !. !. night shines!
And awakens the mind;
It is then !. !. !. , that it’s time !. !. !. , life crawls!.
All comments welcomed, word choice, ending, whatever; I've been fighting with this for two days now and I've become voice deaf (I can't hear its voice anymore), and I lost where it was going again !. !. !. I neeeed sleeep!.
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