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Question: Have you ever been smitten by the beauty of a person!?
The first time I saw her I knew she would be mine!.
In thy youth thou were desirable!. Eighteen summers had passed and no man had ringed thy finger!. In grace and elegance did thou walk, thy shapely legs sheathed in fifteen denier!.
A face of delicate carved bone china whose eyes were faintly visible through black latticed veil mysterious to view!. Thy head crowned in black feathered hat!. A waist, like that of a wasp pinched to show hip and breast !. Admired by some while jealousy moved others to envy thee thy beauty!. Thy beau, of short stature did amble, rather than walk at thy side!. Would that gauntlet could be cast and challenge made to thy ungainly suitor for thy hand!. Helen had her horse and one hundred men!. one hundred horse's and ten thousand men would I send to obtain thee for myself!. Ten thousand horns would sound, and the walls of thy aloofness would crumble!. Oh Annie my Annie thou shalt be mine, and thy finger wilt be ringedWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Sir, a wonderful bit of art!. You have written of an experience that, for the one smitten, truly stands outside of time!. Very artfully, you have blurred the temporal distinctions that might otherwise be made to heighten that effect!. "Carved bone china" and "fifteen denier" hosiery are firmly grounded in the middle of the 19th century, but the casting of a gauntlet points to an earlier age of chivalry and the allusion to Helen of Troy and her matchless beauty points to an age of the classical ideal, the sounding of ten thousand horns and the crumbling of walls (of Jericho!?) points to the prospect of marriage ("thy finger will be ringed") as a sort of arrival in the promised land!. All in all, this piece is allusively rich and beautifully constructed!. It points perhaps to a time, but looks past that time into the vast well of eternity!. Splendid, passionate writing!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
This is a strange mixture - you have chosen to use thy, thou etc!. whilst speaking of a time within living memory!.
If you take out the reference to fifteen denier, this would enable the reader to slip back in time to the courtly period of poetry writing (long gone)
In thy youth thou wert desirable
(no apostrophe for horses!)
You sit uncomfortably in the 21st Century, obviously!.
Did you get her in the end!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
I was unable to form an image with "shapely legs sheathed in fifteen denier", but other than that, the mood of this piece reminded me of the first time I saw my wife!. I knew that very moment she was going to be the mother of my children!. So, yes, I have been smitten!.
A pleasurable read again sir, thank you!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
As I have said many times before, you belong in Shakespeare's time!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Every word read,
I Pictured in my head!.
Thank you For a little glimmer of hope!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I am smitten by the last line of this poem!. =)Www@QuestionHome@Com
This is so enchanted!.!.!.you wove a spell!.!.!.fine as 15 denier!Www@QuestionHome@Com