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Question: Do I have talent is it any good!.!?
I'm laying here beside you holding on to you tightly wrap-ed up into the hands of time i never wanna let go i never want to leave this place i love you so i feel you warmth and i see the love locked deep into those beautiful green eyes I stare deep into them and i lose my self every-time its like you've got me trap-ed and you wont let go so baby its time to let you know that i love you so ohhh and i wanna hold you all night i wanna feel your warm breath and i wanna say it will all be all right cause this i promise you that i will never let go and i will always let you know that you are my only one the one i trust the most i swear always be true cause girl i just want to be with you and i hope you know i love you!. Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
This show great promise - but it need some clean up work - try writing it out like this:
I'm laying here beside you
holding on to you tightly
wrap-ed up into the hands of time
Here is a link to different forms of poetry - see which one you feel comfortable with!. ?
http://www!.shadowpoetry!.com/resources/wi!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
It's good, but to tell you the truth I had a lot of trouble reading it!. The structure of the poem threw me off right away and the lack of punctuation/any care for grammar/spelling disgusted me a bit!. I love the idea of this, you just need to format it, fix your errors, and it'll be great!.
also, it seems like it could be great song lyrics!
I hope I helped!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
you definitely have potential but there are a few things that stood out to me as issues!. first of all, it's very difficult to read; even though it's free verse, which i heartily approve of, i would still recommend breaking it out into lines!. second, the language is a little boring!. the emotion is very real and that is half of poetry right there, but the other half of poetry is the focus on language so i would recommend making the world more interesting in whatever way you see fit!. they would make great song lyrics, but as for poetry it could use some work!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I understand this "open" format is popular with some people!. Personally I find it extremely difficult to read as it is just one huge run-on sentence the way you presented it!.
Without an understandable format, without at least line breaks, it is nothing more than a jumble of words!. Am I supposed to be able to read your mind as well as your writing to determine not only what you are conveying but how !?
Sorry, my crystal ball is in the shop!.
Anyone claiming to understand this is just guessing or marking another two points onto their tally sheet; perhaps both!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
that is adorable! the only thing is it isnt "different" its kind of a typical poem/song (whichever it is) Switch it up a bit ^^Www@QuestionHome@Com
sounds more like a song to meWww@QuestionHome@Com
you might want to take it to a lit prof!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.get their input!.!.And there are different forms of poetry!.pick up a book on form,,,It is important
\good luck!.!.I like itWww@QuestionHome@Com