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Question: What is your honest opinion!?
Sitting alone here thinking of you,
and all the things we have yet to go through
Anticipating all the adventures that await,
feeling nervous with butterflies like on our first date
Not knowing if things will be smooth as fur,
up and down or rocky im not to sure
I know that I love you with all that I am,
thinking only of pleasing you the best I can
The one main thing is that you hold my heart,
I knew I could love you right from the start
As both our feelings have started to grow,
never hiding our love letting everyone know
We are a couple together as one,
enjoying life,each others company, and having fun
Meeting someone so perfect I never knew,
falling in love, so passionate,caring, so true
The girl of my dreams coming into my life,
already having feelings that you'll be my wife
I dont know how you put this spell over me,
but I love it,I love you, but what I really want!.!.!.
Is for you to love meWww@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I love it! I agree with A!.H!.S!.R!. Still, I love it!!Www@QuestionHome@Com

I'll give you honesty if you really want it, but please don't be hurt!. You are trying so hard to rhyme that you are losing the message in a jumble of words!. A poem doesn't have to rhyme to be beautiful!. Forget the rhyme - go with the feel ing!. Pretend that every word is incredibly expensive and express your feelings using a few but powerful words, lines, sentences!. Try a few Hiku's (sp!?) just for practice!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Well!.!.!.it's okay!. Not too wonderful but not too bad either!. Is it for someone you love!? If it is (a girlfriend, wife, etc!.), then I say she would be touched either way!. Either guy who even ATTEMPTS poetry, I think, is wonderful!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

sigh,,, I promised to be nice tonight!.

So, I will only say, you are trying too hard, the meaning is obscured,,,

the rhymes are only marginally working,

there, that was nice!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

2 be frank!.!.!.
ur poetry is !.
!.
!.
!.
!.
!.
!.
simply superb!.!.!.
im very impressed!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I thought your Poety was good and i might use it so i'm to it 8 out of 10Www@QuestionHome@Com

I love any write that consists of a timeless genre, "Love" how splendid although, I think maybe a better syllable count should be done especially when rhyming!. also, steer clear from lines that have already been used!.

For example: "Sitting alone here thinking of you" could be "Lost in my daydreams thoughts swirl around you" & "We are a couple together as one" could be "United, so blissful since we've become one"

idk, just some random lines!. Corel has a great writing program with a built in Thesaurus and it's helped me when I get Writers Block :)

Overall, I liked it and would love to see more from you :D
Www@QuestionHome@Com