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Question: Father's Sonnet!.!.!.poem!.!.!.!.critique please!!!?
I'll write you a poem and add music to it,
It can be our own special masterpiece
That's filled with deceit and all these lies,
Open up, that's why you have those eyes!.

We lyed on the beach on the coastline,
For hours I kept believing that you were mine,
I've been through the ocean on a back of a dolphin,
I've seen hurricanes take away my house!.

You see me I'm what the truths about,
A man inside a man who has no self belief,
A crying shame if you ever care to ask my,
Self pity is the only way to be!.

I write you my poetry so you can pin them to the wall,
Four walls and counting, I have to much time!.
I'll sweep away my thoughts with this broom you gave me,
It's made of horse hair!.!.!.so that's what you said!.

Now with the dolphins I swim again
Sixty thousand feet under, but I can still breath!.
Hearts are at loss when it comes to breaking,
I can't help but fall onto both my knees!.

I'm a macocust, a lier and a conniving thief,
Like father like son, I'm still in between,
So lie to me or tell me something beautiful,
For my soul, I sold to the devil long ago!.

I hope your proud when you look at me,
Father, I grew up to be exactly like you
A messWww@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I hope you keep all your writings in a neat notebook!.

Do you have a link where your songs can be heard!?

When you do get one up, please share!.

Cool poem!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

This is a very nice piece of writing, but it most definitely is not a sonnet!. also lie is not conjugated as lye, a caustic chemical!. Your verse has a musicality and a nice leading beat to it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Great job, you should really submit it to http://www!.papertank!.com and see what they think!.

I bet you could get a high rating for it on there!Www@QuestionHome@Com