Does anyone like the poem i made up

Question: Does anyone like the poem i made up

Do you like my poem!?
Death

Another day
Another night
Nothing left to say
But to tell him to hold on tight
To hold on stronger
For a lot longer
He’s weakening by the hour
Not strong enough to take his own shower
Forever waiting
Anticipating
The truth is soon to come
This is making my whole body numb
This one day
Changed my life in a lot of ways
This day where he couldn’t hold on for any more
I try to forget this day because my heart becomes soreWww@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

I liked it!.!.

go to untappedtalent!.co!.cc its my website, where i have posted many of the poems and songs I have wrote!. I would love it for you to go and read some of them and give me some feedback!.
thanks!.
no this is NOT spam!. I promise!.
Www@QuestionHome@Com

Nope!. It is not very good!. You try too hard to rhyme, but it has neither rythm nor flow!.

You seriously need to take a class or read a LOT of classic poems to gain a sense of style and/or rythm!.

Michelles demonstrates an excellent flow, and is a good poem, but it does not rhyme!. She decided to make a flowing poem that has no rhyme, but the flow itself reminds me of raindrops!.

You shoud seriously try again, without trying to rhyme words!. Write from your feelings, and hold it all in until it feels like it's going to burst out of your heart!.!.!.!.

THEN!.!.!.and only then!.!.!.!.write!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

it sounds like a bad time!.!.!.i lost my brother to suicide!. your poem is good, but there your feelings and nobody can know how you feel!. keep writing!. you have talent!.!.!.keep the private ones for only you!.!.!.sorry about whoever you wrote about!. life sucks sometimes!.!.!.more than it should!.!.peaceWww@QuestionHome@Com

i dont like the way it flows!. it seems to be choppy because youre so concerned with the rhyming!. the substance itself is all right!. not cliche like others be the rhyming, eh, its really not working for me!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

i like it alot
it sounds like the lyrics to like a COB or metallica songWww@QuestionHome@Com

I'm sorry for your loss!.

I got the feeling it was for someone you lost and their final days!.

I like your poem very much!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

It's!.!.!. different!.
Do you like mine!?

Peaceful falling rain
The raindrops fall from heaven
Rinsing away sin
A peaceful world would follow
If people were like raindropsWww@QuestionHome@Com

Not strong enough to take his shower!.!.!.!.!.this is called 'desperate rhyming'
How about

When once he was a tower!.!.!.!.or
Like a dying flower!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.or
He's losing all his power
Www@QuestionHome@Com

That is really good!. The best poem i've read on here!. Very depressing though, that's pretty much how my grandfather was in the days before he died!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

ITS GREAT !!!!!!!
do u think u can help me with my Question well any one really its the poetry one well
yours is really really REALLY good no joke
keep writtingWww@QuestionHome@Com

aw I love it!. I write poems and books myself (though im only 13)!. The sentence lengths work perfectly togetherWww@QuestionHome@Com

Depressing, but good!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Very good!. Reminds me of my mom :[Www@QuestionHome@Com

No, sorry I don't care for death!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

very good:)Www@QuestionHome@Com

li'l funnyWww@QuestionHome@Com

its really good!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

goose bumps!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

this is some deep sh*t right hereWww@QuestionHome@Com

yes this is great, i rele like itWww@QuestionHome@Com