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Question: What would you say about my poem!?
I built my house upon the sand
I built my house upon the sand on the beach shore
I couldn’t see ahead to the fate that becomes poor
I couldn’t see the waves crashing down
I put my fate in the hands of the untrustworthy
But I couldn’t see it would be the hands
By which I would drown
I built my house upon the sand
I built my house out of this sand
This pure white sand
The sound of the devils advocates
Whispering in my ear
There is nothing to fear
The ocean is a controllable beast
Upon your house it shall not feast
They were liars
But that I could not see
I was blinded by ignorance
Blinded by what I thought should be
As the water now fills my lungs
My warning to you is
Only this
Do not build house upon the sand
Build it upon the stone
On which generations had stood
Build it upon the stone
That could
Never move
It is your corner stone
It is your only hope
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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I'll tell you exactly what I thought of the poem, I thought it was fantastic!.
It had the essence of foretelling, yet it had a finishing touch that many poems seem to lack!. I hope to see more poems by you!. E-mail me if you have any more!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Thanks, I was about to build this home on some sand but now I know better!.

Sorry for my sarcasm!. I don't quite understand - do you mean stick to the well known ways !? I am not sure what the moral is!. I assume there is a moral somewhere in there!. You have too much repetition, you can cut the poem in half and still preserve its content!. Www@QuestionHome@Com

Oh my GOD !!!
it was xtremly fantastic!.
I loved the way u xpressed evry thing
You should really publish this beautiful poem!.
iam speechless!.
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