Question Home

Position:Home>Poetry> Another "If" poem, may I have your comments?


Question: Another "If" poem, may I have your comments!?
WHAT IF

What if
I went out of my way today
What if
I found a new way to be
What if
I listened to what you had to say
What if
I began to apply it to me

What if
The world began to change
What if
We acted like sisters and brothers
What if
We took the time to rearrange
What if
We found time to value others

What if, as if, if then
Were not a question
But a When!.

?December 22, 2007 Albert K!. Jungers All rights reserved

Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I like this more than your first offering on if!. Such meaning in a two letter word!. You could also try to rearrange this to lead like:

What if!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
I went out of my way today
found a new way to be

A nice tie in at the end with a challenge to make change to become 'when!.' What 'if' you tried to develop this more!.!.!.!.!.!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

I love having all the options!. Before I got to the end of the first option I was already thinking about this rewrite (the option you already posted below):

What if!.!.!.!.!.
I went out of my way today
I found a new way to be
I listened to what you had to say
I began to apply it to me

What if!.!.!.!.!.
The world began to change
We acted like sisters and brothers
We took the time to rearrange
We found time to value others

What if, as if, if then
Were not a question
But a When!.

When!.!.!.!.
I break out of my old way
New things begin to do
I listen to the things you say
I apply it and begin anew

Then!.!.!.!.
This world will really change
More will treat each as kin
Together we'll arrange
New values to begin!.



I very much liked these What if sentiments:

I listened to what you had to say
I began to apply it to me
Www@QuestionHome@Com

This one belongs in the book!.

EDIT: L'on ne pourrait jamais le faire a NY--trop d'embouteillages!Www@QuestionHome@Com

I like the new development of your poem!. It is very positive, more than I could ever express, because I am usually more of a pessimistic optimist! In French, we say "avec des 'si', on mettrait Paris en bouteille"!.!.!. Www@QuestionHome@Com

Renewed values, they have always been!.
When if, when self respect begins again!.

Kudos to your poem!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Bravo Www@QuestionHome@Com

Mon francoise est ghastly!. I better get one of those Rosetta Stones!. Www@QuestionHome@Com

wow! that was great!Www@QuestionHome@Com

nice poem
thanks for sharing


Justin Www@QuestionHome@Com

i like it alot!Www@QuestionHome@Com

What if we did, what then!?

Wonderful!.Www@QuestionHome@Com