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Question: A Poem - War - What do you think!?
Purple, silver, gold
Represent the red, white, and blue
Decimated knees
Reminder of eras long ago
Metal, shrapnel, scars
Share physical anatomy
Night terrors and sweat
Perceptible imprint of warWww@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I like it!. I would almost want you to go more minimal (just an opinion)!. Here's a possible example (something to think about not necessarily a rewrite suggestion):

Purple, silver, gold
Decimated reminder of eras past
Metal, shrapnel, scars
Night terrors and sweat
Perceptible imprint of war

I like the poem in any event!.

Edit: You know Marguerite after I've read this a few more times I have a suggestion for your final line:

I really like the line but I wonder if starting the line with a "The" or a "This" might bring it out more!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I have the impression of someone writing about a subject she actually knows little about!. You are stringing together words which are merely associated with the subject, but which amount to no clear point!. I can't tell wheter you like or dislike war!.

I also wonder why some words are used -- "decimated" (which literally means killing one-in-ten), "preceptible," (which sounds scientific or clinical), "imprint," etc!. Any why "knees"!? People lose arms too!.

If you HAVE to write a poem about war, try to decide what you're actually saying about it, then say it clearly in specific, but non-clinical language!. But personally, I'd rather read a poem about a subject which you actually know!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Many brilliant war poems were written from afar, one of my favourites being the lyrics to Forgotten Sons by Marillion and the folksong by Harvey Andrews (banned by the BBC to avoid further anti-Irish reprisals) simply entitled The Soldier!.

Having spent ten years as a soldier I can honestly say the phrase 'War is Hell' is only part of it!.

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Very visual and poignant!.

One need not be an artist to appreciate great art, nor a warrior to suffer from the aftermath of war!. Those of us who are not warriors suffer with our loved ones and with the strangers and their loved ones who have been devastated by war's insanity!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Resurrects old memories of fun times as well as horrible nightmares!. There is nothing glorious in war, and there are no true winners!. Everyone loses!. I love what you have written here, thank you!.


Edit:
After reading Marco M's response, I have concluded that he should not answer questions he knows nothing about!. He is welcome to share some of my nightmares and then see what he knows about war!. Moral: I really hate stupid people who try to sound smart by putting someone else down, and especially when they are wrong!. So to Marco, who doesn't accept email, I say "BITE ME!"
A vet!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Modern warfare is very good at producing amputees, isn't it!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

The poem is simplistic in nature but at the same time very good!. I like it very much!. There are parts that I find a little confusing as the poem seems to drift between the past and the present, apart from that awesome!. Please post more!.

Best WishesWww@QuestionHome@Com

Medals are trophies worn outside
with pride,
scars are
the truth of the matter!.

Excellent poem, beautiful statement!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I like!. Not because of the theme but what you say!. My critique would be to focus on the true scars, the memories that last!.
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I do like the way you wrote this, although the subject is sad! Cheers!Www@QuestionHome@Com

"Hi!",
I love the imagery!

WELL DONE!
Cheers : )Www@QuestionHome@Com

I think this is great, and more could be added to the topic, and you could do it well!. Kudos!Www@QuestionHome@Com

I think this is good ,,,,And I could see this being much more & much better then what t is,,,,,,,,, Www@QuestionHome@Com

u could make sth much better, this is childish in some respectWww@QuestionHome@Com