Taking a leaf out of Grannyjill's book. What do you think?

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Question:

Rhyming Game Revisited

Desire balance leveled
but my outers disheveled
my wrinkled rough skin
heavily burdened by sin
revealing my soul
interrupting my whole
inward to collapse,fold
old age taking hold
obscuring the beauty
mocking me lewdly
slapping me rudely

their eyes lacking vision
making poor decision
never seeing the seed
never feeling the need
they leave me defiled
yet I am Gods child
Soon to be vilified
by his mercy and grace
smiles, tears flood my face
for all the seeds planted
not one will he forsake!.

note: lack of punctuation is deliberate!.
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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

Amazing! In 17 minutes!? You put us professional writers to shame!.
Nice work!. Beautiful message!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I almost missed this! Seems that there may be the germ of 1 or 20 poems in there!. I'm going borrow this game and see if it helps me!. I especially like the last four lines of the 1st verse, Very strong image!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I like these little free-flowing rhyme games!. I especially like your rhyme using disheveled!. I think the main value of this exercise outside of fun itself is to come up with one or two good lines or ideas that could form their own poem!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

pome spends to much time make rime!. not much thinking meaning stuff!. if only talking about rime, is fine!.

me want no if lack excitement delibrit!?

this one to boring!.Www@QuestionHome@Com