Raining in my heart
Shedding tears
The tears that does not dry
The serene heart
Getting amused
So much sadness
I feel
I do not know why
The fear
What is coming!?
The unknown
The tears in my heart
The nibbling emotions
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Position:Home>Poetry> Critique My Poem: Raining in My HeartQuestion: Critique My Poem: Raining in My Heart Raining in my heart
Shedding tears The tears that does not dry The serene heart Getting amused So much sadness I feel I do not know why The fear What is coming!? The unknown The tears in my heart The nibbling emotions Www@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Good poem!. I get from this poem that you are young, maybe a bit heart broken, and a big event is coming in your life soon!. Maybe you are moving to a new home!? Starting a new school!? Missing a friend!? My only critique is to try: the tears that "do" not dry!. Keep it up, and by learning a new word each day, you can really grow into a master poet!. If you have "my yahoo" set up you can choose a "word of the day" module to grow your vocabulary!. Some new words will never make it into your poems, but some can inspire a new poem!! Keep a note book of all your poems!. Don't forget to write the date on the page too! Www@QuestionHome@Com I like it all except the lines, "the serene heart" followed by "getting amused"!. I don't see how they are related to the poem at all!. Otherwise, it is a very creative effort!. btw, it should read, "The tears that do (instead of does) not dry"Www@QuestionHome@Com Nice!. I like it!. Peace!.Www@QuestionHome@Com |