Critique My Poem: Viola Cruhed My Heart

Question: Critique My Poem: Viola Cruhed My Heart

Viola crushed my heart
And slipped away
To the far country of New Zealand
To the Hawke’s bay
I gazed the dark skies
I counted the stars
Waiting for a comet
that saw Viola
To fall and flash the sky
I sailed the oceans
I fought the high waves
I met hurricanes
For Viola
Who crushed my heart
And slipped awayWww@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

Very descriptiveve and quite an enjoyable peice of poetry you have there! I find nothing wrong, giving you a star so you get more critique on this! Good job!! Cheers!!Www@QuestionHome@Com

For someone who crushed your heart
you still think of her
because searching hi and low for her
--------------------------
Viola crushed me heart
( then slipped away )
To a far away country New Zealand
( At the Hawke's Bay )

( I gazed in dark skies)
(Then counted the stars )
Waiting for the comet
( Where I saw Viola )
Going through heartache
(sacrifing sleep risking your safety
because
You sailed the ocean
fought off the high waves
met with many hurricanes)Www@QuestionHome@Com

A good read in deed!. Not much to critique, maybe change the word "away" in line two!. I said maybe!. The first four lines I thought were setting up the rhyme scheme, but there isn't really one (which is nice)!. And punctuate!
Nice poem though, even left as is!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Brill! You can write!.
I really enjoyed reading this!.
Oh,and I hope you've got over her!. Plenty more fish in the sea,you know!.
Good luck!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

This poem is good, but a poem appeared yesterday by JELLZ about Viola, now this one with a different name!. I was just wondering if there the same person!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

Wonderful!Www@QuestionHome@Com

I liked it, a fun read, about a sad event but with a wry touch of humor!.

Www@QuestionHome@Com

Aww!.
This is really so sweet!.This poem tells me your very sweet and sensitive!.I love this!Www@QuestionHome@Com

very nice!. Viola is a biya tchWww@QuestionHome@Com