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Question: Do anyone likes this poem!? criticize
Vain Words

Alas! tell me not I speak in vain of love
For is love for why I live and is love in
What I feast, tell me not! that all my words
Are just adorns for you to show that I am a
Poor soul,living in agony, walking in the
Path of solitude, which brings peace but
No relieve, so please Elizabeth hear me words
That for you I wrote:

In the withering wild I love your smile
In the ocean I love your emotion
Flowing waves to thy cheek bring bliss
And all the air to thou words "fair"
So grand in beauty, so fair thou art
Please from me never departWww@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Well Done!. The 1st stanza was different from the 2nd!.The first was much more Shakespearean!.Some how It reminds me of "Romeo & Juliet"!. U were in control of the flow of feeling as well as the flow of expressing and flow of tone!.However, the picture U brought up, could be felt but not visualized!. This way it has less impact, and soon be forgotten!.Try to bring visible elements, that 'd help the reader to imprint a visual image of Ur feelings!. For a fourth one, I 'd say its so delicate an so fine!.I myself miss this line of poem!.Keep on writing & good luck!. Www@QuestionHome@Com

I liked it, reminded me of
another time!. A person in
love!.

Take a look at my blog!.Www@QuestionHome@Com