Position:Home>Poetry> When will you be walking in the forest next?
Question: When will you be walking in the forest next!?
Forest of one and many
(with reference to TD Euwaite’s “Forest of Stones”)
by Jellz Fisher 2007
I am beyond and yet I feel no cold
My bones are weary and yet I feel not old,
for the blanket of mercy does keep me warm!.
Nature’s comforter through any storm
protects me as I sleep and dream of former days,
wherein my hopes have all vanished in the purple haze!.
There is time immortal for me to lie
beneath this winter, summer, spring and autumn sky!.
Leaves fall softly and I feel no pain,
enfolding me in colour, bring shelter from the rain!.
Each person, as I here, has known how to live!.
Each soul is laid to rest… their voices now passive
You’ll find us and we will feel it, here, when next you call!.
Know that we have not gone very far away……at all
Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Very, very moving!. Thank you!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I love the idea of this!. L8 strikes me as awkward, did you try something like,beneath the season's skies, or beneath seasonal skies!?
"I am beyond, I feel no cold" has a nice feel to it!. I think you could remove a bunch of unneeded words and this would be a superb piece!.
Now the disclaimer!.!.!.I know nothing about the specific mechanics of poetry, save what I've learned here, so feel free to file these observations in the nearest loo! Www@QuestionHome@Com
It is a pleasure for me to read some of your latest, serious poems!. You need to tighten them up a bit, delete all unnecessary words, replace weak words with those that illustrate something, perhaps shorten the lines or divide the poem into stanzas!.
Having said all that, the poem moved me deeply!. The flaws are minor when compared to the work in its entirety!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
IF YOU WROTE THIS YOU ARE AN ARTIST SUPREME AND I LOVE YOU AND YOUR WORK!. P!.S!. AS AN ARTIST OF COURSE!!Www@QuestionHome@Com
well i live in the forest hills,
so tommorrow i guess!.!.lol
i thought your poem was good!.
but i dont have any grave sites
under my trees!.!.um !.!.hope not!.
(knocks on bark)Www@QuestionHome@Com
Nice!Www@QuestionHome@Com
Parts of this are sublime, other bits (a little creaky)!.!.!.!.vanished in a purple haze, sounds suspiciously like a cliche! Leave out 'does' on the third line and change 'keep' to 'keeps' - when I see 'do' and 'does' words in a line I always think they are a contrivance to allow an end-rhyming word to work!.!.!.!.it just sounds so articial, though!.
The rhyming of 'live' and 'passive' doesn't quite work - because of the brain making your read it as passIVE!.
Having totally picked your lovely poem to pieces - I end by saying 'Well done' the good definitely out-weighs the not so good!.
Look forward to seeing more like this!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
This has to be one the best poems I have ever read!. Trees are like hanging blankets, or tents that shelter with the beautiful strength of age!. I think you captured the nature of trees like a pro!.
I give you perfect ten for this marvelous work!. I could never write anything like this!.
O,
And to answer your question, I used to go hiking all the time with my nephew, niece and brother!. Sadly I live a distance from them, and don't venture into the woods, or the hick like forest that grows all around the county of New York I live in!.
I wish I could go to like the Amazon or some other famous forest, probably in the states, that would be fun!. Maybe I will one day!.Www@QuestionHome@Com