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Position:Home>Poetry> Poem: "Moment". Comment?Question: Poem: "Moment"!. Comment!? The sun glints on the wrinkled silver sea
And the seagulls' hilarious squawk and bleat Rings out into silence over the bay Where the tide has wiped the marks of our feet!. The peace is massive, sinks into our heart With perfect joy of the fading day So we arise over the humdrum art Of small talk and random sounds on the way!. We're hand in hand, the way it's meant to be!. Let's hug this moment, now, just you and me!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Good imagery!. I would take the word 'is' and substitute a comma in verse two and change the word 'arise' to float/glide/pass/sail!. (But then it's not my poem) You have caught a lovely moment here, though!.Well done!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Awe this is so amazing! You tied two awesome things together! The ocean and love!. I can't wait to show this poem to my family!Www@QuestionHome@Com It's beautiful!.!.!.Kudos!!Www@QuestionHome@Com This is strictly from Amateursville, man!. It takes more than a few rhymes to make a poem!.Www@QuestionHome@Com You didn't say who wrote itWww@QuestionHome@Com its okay right under good!. but good job thoughWww@QuestionHome@Com |