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Question: Time and Death! Does this poem make sense!?
Time has come, gone and is enduring!. It moves in on us like a heartbeat!. It is expected, anticipated but yet barley noticed!. Once acknowledged, usually to late!. The indicator being pain, loneliness and grief all indicating time has come and your heart gets weak!. Your life is over and time has stopped!. Time no longer exists, you ache for more!. Something that once moved to fast, that there was never enough off, or couldn’t go faster is now no longer part of your death!. Instead there is an endless amount of day and night, of freedom and thought, passing over us with no sign of time and its intimidating existence!. You are no longer a prisoner of its unmanageable schedule, not early or late, not young or old!. Something that once defined you, that molded you era by era, no longer restrains you to its unforgiving rules!. Death has liberated you, given you a gift that could only come from times only ruler!. You beg for its structure, for the sun rise and sun fall to mean something, you crave a sense of age and wisdom that only comes from moments that come from minutes!. You are born again in a moment in time!. For your mother you came to early, she cursed the weeks that hadn’t come, the time you didn’t have!. You open your eyes and weep out loud to go back, it all happened to fast!. For you, a lifetime has just begun!Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I didn't know you had a knack for writing!.

I'm not sure what everyone else is talking about!. I get it!.

Time comes and goes without us knowing, then it is to late and everyone wishes they had more!.

I enjoy the part of life after death, reincarnation if you will!. I too hope that there is life after death!. Your poem makes me feel as if there is hope!.

I would break it up so it is easier to read!. I read it several times I found things in it I missed the first time, little meanings that I didn't see right away!.

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No!.
Time moves as it moves!. No slower, nor faster then what it is!. Time is time!.

Your piece needs some work!. Focus on your line breaks and your sentence flow!.
Structure your piece so that it is more easily readable!.
Your piece could be powerful!.
Keep working on it!.
Build a foundation for your thoughts and carry it!.
What there is here is loose balloons in the air!.
Here, there, everywhere!.
Needs more direct focus!.

Good start to what i perceive could be a powerful piece!.
Keep working and writing!.
SamWww@QuestionHome@Com

that's kind of insane good!. really hard for my mind to swallow!.!. so i had to read it twice!.!. and i still can't swallow the whole structure to it!.!. i almost want a meaning!. it's really good!.!. um!.!. i don't know what to say!.!. i want to ask you if you're old!. keep writingWww@QuestionHome@Com

no!. you need a central thought or concept!. it is allll over the place and doesn't make a lot of sense!.
just think about it more, reread it a bit, and then rewrite it & edit it!. i'm sure it will improve!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

No!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

its a good poem but it reLLU DOESNT MAKE SENSE BUT NICE TRYWww@QuestionHome@Com

i dont know i didnt read it but its long sooooooo yes it kinda makes senceWww@QuestionHome@Com

yes it does!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

yesWww@QuestionHome@Com

made some sence but had to read it twiceWww@QuestionHome@Com

Umm, no, it sounds like they are saying that you are born again, like into another life, which is not true because after you die you either go to heaven or to hell, and the time in which the world goes on after you die is like less than a moment, you don't even know time has passed and then all are raised from the dead and they are judged before God!. The sheep to their father in heaven, and the goats to hell!.Www@QuestionHome@Com