Question Home

Position:Home>Poetry> Critque...poem....thanks?


Question: Critque!.!.!.poem!.!.!.!.thanks!?
I've been creeping in these glances at you from across the room,
I have all the right words to tell you but I'm to scared to move!.
So I'll take my time with the right moment as the waves hit the shore,
I have this feeling in my gut that I've been here before!.

Your eyes they shine like butterflies as the burn through the sky,
A thousand reasons of regret will still not add up to why,
Your breathe is on my hair and your perfume is on my sheets,
I'm looking for an escape that I can take you with me!.

El, please spell the words cause I am having trouble hearing,
The only thing I've missed before you was, I guess everything!.
I wrote you a poem in the blood that filled my pen,
Just come home with me I swear I will make you my best friend!.

We shock as the world collapsed but I still loved you more,
I'm happy to die with you in my arms!.!.!.I've never felt this before!.Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
decent imagery, the meter could use some attention though!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

That's really good, but sadly I'm better!Sorry!:-p
You should hear mine some time cause i am the princess of rhyme!Www@QuestionHome@Com

not too bad!Www@QuestionHome@Com